DEAR CHICO AND DELAMAR...I am a recent university graduate, and because of a financial emergency in the family I have had to take a job in a fastfood company while looking for a job that is better suited towards my degree.

I will be honest and say that at first I did not think that I would like the job, but I have become really good friends with my co-workers, many of whom have made this their career. I even found myself enjoying the work that I was doing.

Things only get awkward when my co-workers find out what degree I have, especially since there are times when I end up serving some former classmates and even some professors. How do I explain that I don’t intend to make a career out of this job without sounding like a jerk? I don’t think I’m better than any of my co-workers, in fact I would like to remain friends with them once I do leave, but this job just really isn’t for me. How do I explain all of this without sounding arrogant or elitist? -SEBASTIAN

CHICO SAYS…My only advice is this: Stop explaining yourself to people.

People will take their cue from you. Your career decisions are yours and yours alone. Except for family and close friends, you don’t really have to explain to people why you do the things you do.

For example, should you see old teachers and classmates from college, and you end up serving them, stand proud! There is NOTHTHING wrong with taking a menial job, and you need not explain why someone of your “stature” is working as a “mere” fastfood server.

The more you try to explain yourself to them, the more awkward you make the situation. The more defensive you sound, the more you betray how ashamed you actually are of the job you’re currently in. If you like what you do, or at least it’s clear to you why you’re doing what you’re doing, then it shouldn’t matter who sees you doing it. And should former classmates judge you as a loser for working in a fastfood joint, that’s their problem, not yours!

As for your co-workers now, spare them the explanation of how you’re not really planning to stay. Although for you this job is a mere stopover, for some of them, this is their final destination.
Again, you don’t really owe anybody an explanation. And should the day come for you to move on to another job, just resign, tell them it’s a career move, and be true to your word and keep in touch with them.

Some things are better done than explained. I think the problem is not with other people, but it’s a war being waged inside of you. If you’d allow me to venture an educated guess, I’d say it’s you who are ashamed of working in a fastfood joint. You feel that this kind of job is beneath you. Even if you know that this is just a stop-gap measure, you don’t want people to think that you’ve failed and ended up there.

The paranoia of being judged is coming mostly from yourself. You’re judging yourself harshly, that’s why you think people are doing the same. If you can change this way of thinking and actually be proud of what you do, no matter what it is you do, people can feel that energy of pride that emanates from inside. I’ve met labanderas, security guards, waiters, yayas, who were fiercely proud of what they were doing and therefore did it very well, and I admired them for it. I never felt that they were beneath me because they didn’t allow themselves to feel that they were beneath anyone.

Everyone has their niche in this world. Some of us were meant to lead, while some were meant to follow.

Some were born to be doctors and lawyers, some were meant to be jeepney drivers and construction workers. We are all given our lot in life. Sometimes it’s good to strive for something “better,”but sometimes it’s just as noble to simply tend your little patch of earth.

DELAMAR SAYS…Do you even have to explain to people what your plans are? For me, you don’t have to. Just do your job the best way you know how while at your present job and then when it’s time to leave for the real job you want then that’s what you will do. No need to explain yourself to them or to tell them that you are off to somewhere ‘better’ or to tell them that your present job is just something you had to do. There is no need to tell them the details of what you plan to do. Just enjoy your job the way you are doing now and have fun with your co-workers the way you are doing now. Enjoy this stage in your life.

The way I see it, we are all on our own path. And it is the same when it comes to our chosen careers. We all have our own plans as to where we want to be, what we want to achieve and who we want to be professionally.

Obviously, we have different “callings’’.

Yours will be different from your co-workers but for now you find yourself with them sharing the same job and that has its purpose in your life as much as theirs. Although for them this is it and for you it is just a stopover before you do what it is you choose as your career, it doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy your job and the company of co-workers.

As per your letter, that is exactly what you are doing so that’s great. No need to feel the pressure of having to explain to people why you won’t stay in this job. Just go ahead with your plan.

So, I suppose that is my advice. Is there even a need to tell the people you work with that this is just something you need to do but that you are off to better pastures after? No. You don’t have to. Keep that to yourself. Sometimes the more you explain to people the more you court problems. And this is especially true if you plan to make their chosen careers a stepping stone. Them choosing that career is their choice. You doing something else after this stage in your life, well that is YOUR choice too. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.

As long as you do the job well and you know how to get along with your co-workers, I think you will be fine.

If they ask you why you are in the job you’re in even if you are qualified to do other things, just tell them the truth -- your family needs the money and that’s why you decided to work.

(Chico and Delle welcome your letters. Write to: youth@mb.com.ph or fax through 527-7511. Listen to the Dynamic Duo Monday to Saturday, 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. over Monster Radio RX 93.1)