DEAR CHICO AND DELAMAR...

Something really disturbing happened to me at work, and I don’t really know what to do about it. We pass around a company-issued laptop at work so as to help us out with our projects, and right now I have custody of it. While playing around with it a couple of days ago -- my project was going well and I had some time to goof off -- I tinkered around with the laptop and looked in the recycle bin. It was full of pictures of one girl in explicit poses, for lack of a better term.

I thought that I had just stumbled on the porn habit of whoever used it before me, thought nothing of it, and deleted the pictures. Imagine my discomfort when at a company dinner the next day, I find out that the girl in the pictures is my boss’ daughter. What’s even more disturbing is that she is still in high school. I could not look at her or at my boss.

I have not tried to find out who used the laptop before me, because frankly I’m afraid of what I might find out. My girlfriend tells me that I should tell my boss about this, but without any pictures to prove it, will he even believe me? Should I just keep quiet about this whole thing? What should I do. -Tom

CHICO SAYS...

In my experience, if it isn’t any of your business, when it comes to other people’s relationships or sexual proclivities, I’d stay out of it if I were you. And I’ll tell you why.

First, it doesn’t really concern you. I understand the underage part, if you feel the need to “protect” an innocent (or not-so-innocent as it seems), but unless the pictures were taken without her knowledge, and it doesn’t seem to be the case in this situation, then she might even resent the unsolicited intervention.

Second, you don’t really have any proof. Not only will the revelation be incendiary, but it will seem to the father, baseless. Most dads won’t believe proof of any type regarding their underage daughters’ sexual adventures even if it stares them in the face, what more in the absence of any proof? Even if you wanted to protect her on the sole basis of her age, you just deleted all proof of its existence.

Which brings me to the only point that merits intervention. Her being in high school is too young for her to be posing in various degrees of undress, even if it is done with her consent and even if she did it in private and for her own personal use. In some countries it’s illegal just to have these in your possession.

So true, you can be involved if you choose to make this your business, but like I said, having erased all traces of it, will pretty much reduce your accusations as mere story-telling. It’s like saying you finally caught Bigfoot, but he got away.

If you had the proof, the decision is yours to make; none really right or wrong, just what you’re willing to live with. But without proof, you simply have no case.

DELAMAR SAYS...

My advice is to stay out of it. I know you have genuine concern for the boss’s daughter but here’s why I advice for you to stay out of it.

First, it is not within your responsibility as an employee to get involved in the personal affairs of your officemates and the daughter of bosses. I know some people could say that as a concerned stranger you have the right to bring this up with your boss, but I will urge you to really think about it before you do anything because this is complicated by the fact that you are an employee who could lose his job should things go awry.

Second, THERE IS NO EVIDENCE ANYMORE OF THESE PICTURES. Should the daughter deny that these pictures exist, and most likely she will, it will all boil down to your word against his. And whom do you think the boss will side with and believe?

The fact is that this is something that has nothing to do with you. Those are not your pictures. And you did not download them. So this has nothing to do with you except that you found them.

Yes, there is genuine concern for the welfare of the boss’ daughter but this is a personal matter. Besides, should the boss not believe you, you could lose your job for something that had nothing to do with your responsibilities at the office. Also, although we hope that things could end well, you just never know what that daughter will do. She might deny it and concoct a story implicating you and things could be turned around with you paying for most of the blame that has nothing to do with you.

Your job is on the line. And it is on the line regarding something that is a personal matter for the boss. Without those pictures, you will have a very difficult time proving the very thing you claim. So I would advise that you stay out of it. If the pictures were still on the computer, my advice would be different. But they are gone. So keep your head down and don’t get involved in this private matter.

The situation is disturbing, yes. But keep your eye on the ball and look out for number 1 because no one will do that for you except you. If you risk your neck out on this matter you could end up holding the bag at the end of it. Understandable if you lose your job because of your own doing but this isn’t that. So, keep out of it is the wisest decision under the circumstances, in my opinion.

(Chico and Delle welcome your letters. Write to: youth@mb.com.ph or fax through 527-7511. Listen to the Dynamic Duo Monday to Saturday, 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. over Monster Radio RX 93.1)