When my time comes to go before the Pearly Gates, I only have these words to Saint Peter say. And I am certain that, the good and holy keeper of the key will promptly send me on my merry way, to join the company of God’s holy and faithful saints and angels.

And these are the words I need only say: I was born a Filipino, lived a Filipino, and died a Filipino. The holy and chief apostle of our lord, then, would promptly show utmost concern and tenderness, and would query me about my cross-dimensional voyage, and would quickly ask one of the angels standing guard to give me the heavenly counterpart of bottles of SanMig light.

While I am downing bottles of those celestial thirst-busting concoctions, the Alpha pope would point out to me where Pinoys like me get to spend eternity.

He would show me those parts of heaven, God’s real kingdom, where the flowers bloom more colorfully and with scents more heavenly — those parts of heaven where angels sing more beautifully.

And should I ever find the courage to ask him what have I done to deserve this kind of things for the rest of forever time, Saint Peter would tell me, with loads of affection and love in his eyes, “Son, you’d been in hell since birth and in all days until you died.

Sending you now to Hades would be the highest height of injustice; and that is something our Lord truly detests.”

iPhone Textbooks

CourseSmart, a vendor of electronic textbooks, recently released an iPhone application that allows students to load ebooks into their iPhone smartphones and iPod digital media players. Now, this is a very welcome development for students tired of carrying with them to school those thick, heavy textbooks.

Imagine how much relief it would be for school pupils who have to carry those stacks of books each day of the school year.

Better Mileage

Car and light trucks sold in July in the United States gained more mileage, going from 21.4 miles per gallon to 22.1mpg. According to the University of Michigan researchers who conducted the study, this is the highest mileage increase since 2007.

This trend means reduced pollution, aside from the lower costs for American drivers. But then again, this is just delaying the inevitable. Sooner or later, fossil fuels will run out. Our scientists and engineers need to come up with technologies that would replace the petroleum-guzzling internal combustion engine.

More Stupid

Last week, I asked my half dozen regular readers if they could think of something more stupid than sending out SMS while driving a car or a motorcycle. A few days ago, I think I did see one.

I saw a man on his motorcycle, sending text messages, while holding a little girl on his lap. Try and beat that.

That’s all for the meantime, folks. Remember, riding a motorbike without a helmet is bad, but not as bad (and stupid) as using a mobile phone while driving.