Exhausted, sleep deprived and harassed …sounds familiar? For many young mothers, this is the “new normal” the moment they get right down to caring for their baby.

But no matter how overwhelmed with change and new experiences they are, moms bravely face each day, determined to endure all odds.

Stressful lives

“Young mothers can be very tired” says Dr. Violeta Villaroman-Bautista, a clinical psychologist and family therapist and founding president of Care & Counsel Wholeness Center. “Many feel guilty, unsure whether they are doing the right thing and missing their friends. It’s overwhelming having to adjust to the role of being a married woman: having a partner, being a wife, learning to become a parent and dividing your time between yourself and your husband. Tough luck if you also have a job.

When you are a young mother,  there is a need to prove yourself, to establish a career and to be the best person you can possibly be. There is also your kid and your husband (who, for most women, act as "kids" too) to care for. But according to Dr. Villaroman-Bautista, it is the lack of understanding and support from your partner as well as the judgment and the negative evaluation that has the most stressful effect on wives.”

Effects of stress

High levels of stress can affect you physically, physiologically and psychologically. Medical research has shown that there is a direct link between diseases and stress. High levels of stress, if not effectively managed, may even cause serious illnesses that can affect your well being.  It is not just the major stressors like death of a loved one, marital infidelity, losing a job or adjusting to a new job that may seriously affect your response to stress but studies have shown that even minor stress that have accumulated, can negatively affect your health. 

Some stress-related illnesses include colds, excessive hair loss, skin outbreaks, muscle tension and severe muscle pain, chest pains, chronic fatigue, asthma, anxiety attacks, mood swings, poor sexual desire, sleep disorders, gastrointestinal problems, high blood pressure and depression.

Do not feel guilty

“Be kind to yourself. Make space for your own needs to be happy” underscores Dr. Villaroman-Bautista.

Young mothers also need to learn that self-care is not a selfish act and that setting aside an alone time is not something to feel guilty about.  Like company workers, mothers also deserve a rest day, a day off. Dr. Villaroman-Bautista suggests you also seek help from qualified people to assist you in caring for your children. That way, you still have time for yourself and your husband. Even your in-laws can be a helpful ally. “Kung mabait naman, walang bad influence, hindi abusive, why not? Ask for their help.

All this, however, is easier said than done. Finding time for things you love to do to de-stress when you have a million things to attend to seems impossible.  But there are many ways to maintain a work-life balance that won’t hamper your schedule or cost you much.

It does not have to be something fancy. It can be something that you can do inside the home or a routine that will not last more than an hour.

The title of motherhood carries with it, the challenge and great responsibility simply not for the faint of heart. It is a must that moms take good care of themselves first to be strong and healthy to continue to care for the whole family for the long-haul “It is only when you are happy that you can be a good parent.”

Dr. Violeta Villaroman-Bautista shares 10 Self-Care Tips

a. Be kind to yourself
b. Take daily timeouts for yourself
c. Eat healthy, balanced meals
d. Find time to get more sleep
e. Schedule regular exercise
f. Make time to laugh
g. Find time to go out with friends
h. Don’t lay in the guilt trip
i. Talk to people about your feelings to let go of the tension
j. Read uplifting and inspiring stories