A smart mother knows that the job doesn’t end with finding and hiring a competent caregiver for her child. After all, any recent living addition to a household –a sibling, a pet, a helper– requires getting used to.  Thus, a new yaya will need instructions and guidance from her employers to adapt to her latest family and perform suitably.   

After the interviews and introductions have been made, here are other sensible steps you can follow to successfully integrate a new yaya into your home: 

1. State your expectations clearly. 

Aina Lacson, who used to teach preschoolers and has two kids, always tells a new yaya “what kind of mother I am and that I do not expect her to discipline my child.  I am, after all, the parent, and she is stepping in for me to help me, not take over my job.  If I do my job well, then there will be no need to discipline the child.”

2. Specify her duties and discuss thoroughly.

 Bank executive Donna Faylona-Marcelo, who has a toddler-daughter, gives each yaya a printed list (in Filipino) of her responsibilities and daily schedule (from morning until evening) which can be referred to periodically or when needed.  Donna does this to avoid misunderstandings and stress on both sides. Similarly, Aina gives the yaya a detailed daily schedule of what she does and what her child will do.  “I mark which time frames or activities she has to step in.”

3. Inform yaya of your rules. 

Donna gives each of her child’s caregivers a briefing on personal hygiene and reiterates her instructions and preferences on a written “Rules for Yaya” list. Aina, on the other hand, lets the yaya know that her priorities are “being clean, gentle, honest, and sincere.”  Consequently, some of Aina’s rules for her yaya are these: 

- to be properly groomed when she starts her day
- no sharing of food (or utensils, glasses, licking fingers, etc.) with the child
- no shouting at or threatening the child
- to report every bump, scrape, or bruise that the child gets without fear of being reprimanded
- to inform her (the parent) if the yaya has gotten annoyed with the child during the day and for what reason

Because Aina believes that yayas also deserve to be treated like proper office employees with decent work hours, she also tells the helper what her “time-ins” and “time-offs” are.         

4. Guide her through her daily routine. 

Show the new yaya what to do, how you want things done, and where everything is.  “I let her be my shadow for two or three days,” says Aina.  Bank manager Jenny Ferriols, who has two girls, aged 10 and 2, advocates a “hands-on demo” especially on major undertakings such as feeding, bathing, and toilet-training the child. 

5. Closely observe your helper before leaving her alone with a youngster.

This way, you can see if a yaya is up to your standards and is doing things right. You can also avert potential blunders and mishaps, and ensure your child’s safety and wellbeing by immediately correcting mistakes (if any) that your helper makes.

6. Check on yaya regularly.

Monitor her progress, particularly her relationship with your child.  Regular supervision, according to Donna, keeps helpers on their toes.  She reminds parents to “make sure your rules are followed, not the yaya’s.  If you establish good practices with the yaya in the first few weeks, it’s much better.  But you also have to check on her every so often.  Don’t expect yayas to be perfectly competent because they are also human, and only you know what is best for your child.” 

7. Keep communication lines open.

Not only should you be reachable in times of emergencies, but approachable as well. Let the yaya know that she can ask questions if there is something she doesn’t understand, and talk to you about work-related problems and other difficulties that can affect her performance.

Top traits

Donna, who has gone through three yayas in three years and is currently looking for one for her soon-to-be-born son, says she likes her helpers to be “patient, organized, loving, and caring.”  Jenny, meanwhile, lists “patient, willing to learn, and masipag” as the important qualities she looks for in a yaya. 

For Aina, who has had Filipina, Dominican, and Romanian yayas owing to several years of residing overseas, the age and civil status of the helper matter. 

“Having a young yaya makes me worry because they are most likely still frivolous and do not take dangerous things seriously.  They are themselves "young at heart" and may not consider a mother’s concerns seriously.  What may be dangerous to you may be a game or an adventure to the young yaya...Single, marrying-age yayas with boyfriends tend to be absent-minded and could be preoccupied with their boyfriends or their wedding.” 

Correspondingly, she thinks yayas who have had children (single or married) or lengthy experience caring for young kids make the “better” choice.

But what if the helper you hired doesn’t live up to expectations? Then let her go and find a replacement, advises Donna. 

“In my limited experience, if they don’t have the patience to take care of or play with the child, get someone else, fast.  It’s just more stressful for you, for the child, and for the yaya if you constantly have to correct or criticize her.”