DEAR CHICO AND DELAMAR...

I’ve been working as a purchaser for a huge retail chain for the past couple of years, and it’s a job that I never thought I would like. I took an unrelated course when I was in college, and did not expect to stay in this job for this long.

I guess my love for the job shows, as my colleagues and even my immediate superiors have commended me for the job, even hinting that I may be up for a raise or even a promotion.

The only fly in my ointment has been our department head who seems to have it in for me for reasons nobody seems to know. She is the only one among my superiors who seems to find any fault in what I do, and is always hovering over my shoulder.

All that I can deal with, but I recently found out that she has been taking trips that were supposed to go to me, as well as some of my own clients. The worst part is that I can’t fight her head on since she’s my superior. And befriending her is definitely out of the question.

What should I do? Should I just keep quiet and let this go on? Or should I make a ruckus about it and bear with the consequences that will come with it? –Rowan

CHICO SAYS…

This is the archetypal tug-of-war between superior and hotshot subordinate. Aside from suspicions you accuse her of, there is always the Damocles sword hanging over every boss’s head, that the person who will eventually replace them is already in their midst (very King Herod during the birth of Christ).

Even in the animal kingdom, the alpha males live a tough life defending their position in their respective groups. Day-to-day paranoia comes with the territory of being top dog.

Obviously, if you’re making waves in your company, then it would be wise for her to keep you in her sights. It’s no surprise she’s tough on you, because you can easily take over her job somewhere in a future, maybe not distant enough for her taste.

In cases like these, usually you keep your head low, but you keep the quality of your work high. She will always throw brickbats at you, but if your work speaks for itself, your output will stand as your best defense. There will always be people who will try to tear you down. If it’s not this boss, it will just be someone else.

Accepting the fact that there will always be people standing in your path is the easiest way to make peace with the inevitable. But accepting this doesn’t mean that you’ll just roll over and submit to their will.

As far as her taking trips that ought to be yours, if you feel this is a valid point, then you have the option to fight for it, if you believe strongly in this battle. Just make sure you have the proof to back it up, and not just idle office water cooler rumors. Careless “truths” like, “Dapat sa iyo napunta yun...” are flammable statements, but useless if not verifiable by empirical support. Unless you can furnish objective data that she actually took something that’s yours, like say, a videotape of actual theft, for instance, then you’re just dabbling in conjecture and chismis, and coming forward with this will only backfire, making you look very petty and foolish in front of the bosses.

My only point is, if you’re coming forward with this, make sure you can nail her. Otherwise, I’d think twice. Your heart might be in the right place, but you need a watertight case so you don’t sink.

DELAMAR SAYS…

First of all, check your facts. And then? Check them again.

You have to be absolutely sure that the accusations you have against your boss can be proven. Hard evidence is always good. Don’t rely on hearsay because when push comes to shove or when the crap hits the ceiling, you can’t use the well-he/she-said-so defense.

If you can get evidence that she got some of your clients or took some of your trips and if you can prove there is wrongdoing on her part against you, then you will be in a better position to expose OR challenge her, if you feel ready for war in the office.

Whether you want to just expose her for what she’s done or really challenge her position by reporting her to HR or to a higher boss, you have to make sure you got the mettle and the strength to go through office politics which can and will get dirty.

Look, this is about someone’s bread and butter. Everyone will protect and look after their interest. They will do that to the best of their abilities. After all, this is a career and a job at stake. Some will do that in dirty and unfair ways, like your boss for example, while some will fight fairly.

Assume the worst so you can prepare for the worst. Challenging your boss will not be easy. You will need to get the bosses or the higher ups to side with you. You will also need the opinion of officemates, peer or subordinate, to side with you too. HR must find your complaint just and true, first of all. Figure out if you have just cause to file a complaint in the first place. Then prove it. And then, well, hope against hope that the powers that be will side with you because you are on the right side of things.

You can make a ruckus but make sure you know what you want out of rocking the corporate boat. What do you want to happen? Do you just want her to know that you know what she’s done so she won’t do it again?

You can do that by waging a silent war. Do you want her to be exposed and officially reprimanded? File an official complaint. In other words, don’t wage war without knowing what you are fighting for or what you want to happen. Otherwise, it will be just as if you wanted to make your office life hell. You can keep quiet and fight her under the radar making sure you are one step ahead of her so she can’t take what is yours. Or you can file a complaint and make challenging your boss official.

Which one you pursue is dictated by your personality. Some people don’t like confrontations. Some people are good at it. Figure out which one you are and then you can make an informed and hopefully the right decision. Be prepared as well that sometimes even if you ARE right, some management decide to side with the boss more than the subordinate regardless of who was wrong or right.

Protect your own, in other words. Maybe deep down bosses know they have to protect each other because they all do not want their subordinates to overtake them on the corporate ladder.

Your boss probably sees you as a threat to her position. She probably thinks you could take her job away from her and that’s why she’s always hovering around you and finding fault. People watch out for the one they think is after what is theirs.

You are probably the biggest threat to her, in her opinion. That is the nature of competition within the workplace. Accept it and learn to maneuver through it all the while protecting your own interests…
hopefully without being unfair to anyone along the way.

(Chico and Delle welcome your letters. Write to: youth@mb.com.ph or fax through 527-7511. Listen to the Dynamic Duo Monday to Saturday, 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. over Monster Radio RX 93.1)