ELECTIONS. Noynoy, Manny, and Chiz signed a manifesto urging PGMA to extend Armed Forces Chief of Staff General Victor Ibrado, who is due to retire in March 2010 two months before the May elections. They worry that the administration would Slam-Dunk-Bang it!

PGMA to stay away from Gibo sorties. Like Al Gore asked Monica-tainted Bill not to help his campaign. Serge abandons Noynoy’s LP, and Jinggoy declines guest spot in Manny’s NP. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

SPORTS. PGMA conferred the Sikatuna, rank of Datu, on Manny Pacquiao before an admiring throng at the Quirino Grandstand. Sikat na, Tunay pa!

The Sikatuna is the highest decoration for diplomatic achievement and for those who win friends for RP. Ambassador Pacman earned it for besting his opponents.

The best Pacquiao ad is our prize fighter with his back to us after the fight, at the ring corner on his knees in prayer, with only the swoosh on his soles advertising his sponsor.

DIPLOMACY. Ambassador Harry S. Thomas will succeed Kristie Kenney as US envoy to RP. He graduated from Jesuit-run College of the Holy Cross in Massachusetts and can be counted to root for the Blue Eagles at the Araneta Astrodome.

Can he also guest at Wowowee?

Ambassador Ivo... offered Pampanga Governor Panlilio proved Israeli agriculture and water technology. The Israelites drew water out of stone in the Promised Land. Their neighbors were not as successful... no matter how deep they dug, they drew only oil.

But at the moment Pampanga has more water than it needs.

Ambassador Ivo should ask Mayor Oca Rodriguez to see interpretations of the Star of David at the annual San Fernando Parol Contest which is on December 19 this year.

MISCELLANY. GSIS president Winston Garcia wants to oblige Manny Pangilinan’s Manila Pacific Investments Corporation (MPIC) to buy GSIS Meralco shares at the same P300 premium it paid for the Lopez holdings. Will the windfall go to GSIS members or as hefty bonuses to GSIS officials?

BIR expects P1.5 billion from 5 percent tax on campaign ads. Revolutionary tax.

A legislator is raising a stink with a proposal to rename “comfort room” and “rest room” as toilet. He believes this will help tourists find their way. A nose by any other name would smell where’s it. Feedback: jaz@mb.com.ph