DEAR CHICO AND DELAMAR...I’m pretty sure you guys have had your own share of letter-senders asking for advice with regards to affairs in the workplace. I guess my situation is a little similar to theirs, with the only difference being I’m not the one having an affair.

A married co-worker of mine is having an affair with one of the females in the office, and it obviously has become the office’s hottest item of gossip. They meet up in abandoned places in the building and do the deed whenever the need strikes them. They’ve become so predictable that some people have even “accidentally” walked in on them in the middle of the act. Their hookups have also become more and more lengthy that it’s usually me and my colleagues that pick up the work that they should have been doing.

I am really, really tempted to tell his wife about his affair, but my officemates tell me that it’s none of my business. But the reason why it bothers me so much is that my father left me and my mom for another woman, and I feel that if I were his wife, I would want someone to tell me about his affair. And I guess you could also add the fact that their carousing is affecting everybody’s work.

Should I really just stay out of this whole mess, or do you think it would be right for me to tell his wife? Or at the very least, tell our bosses, so some of us don’t have to do extra work while they conduct their extramarital affair. –Sheri

CHICO SAYS… This is a tricky call. Like you said, if you were your co-worker’s wife, you’d want someone to blow the whistle on the perpetrators. Technically, there is no right and wrong choices here, just consequences of your actions that you’re willing to live with.

If your urge to set things straight is stronger than the drama you’ll get once the sh*t hits the fan, then go ahead, squeal away. But if not wanting any confrontations is stronger than the guilt of staying quiet, then leave it be.

This is completely your call. What I can share is what I would do. If I were in your shoes, I’d simply stay out of it. This is between your officemate and his mistress, and your officemate and his wife. The only time I’d dip my finger in this is if the wife was very close to me, like if she were a relative or a very close friend, because this way, I’d feel like I have a right to meddle since I have an invested interest in the casualty. But if the people concerned are not even remotely close to me, this is a mess I would definitely stay away from.

Besides, you don’t know what the real deal is, all the factors playing out in this tableau. Your mother and your father was one couple, your officemate and his wife is another. You don’t have to go around “saving” all the wronged wives out there.

Some battles are yours, most are for many others to fight. I understand the righteous indignation, the need to correct a wrongdoing. Not doing anything does not necessarily spell approval of a reprehensible act. But you need to discern between what is your business and what is not.

What you can bring up however, is the fact that they’re not doing their job. I don’t know how wise it is to point out their affair as the main reason for this, but maybe it will suffice to mention the fact that you end up cleaning up after their leftover work. Let the bosses do the math, and let them address what needs addressing. Stick to the facts, that they’re not doing their work, and leave the moral troubleshooting for the management.

But then this is me. If you feel the strong moral obligation to spill the beans, and damn the consequences, go ahead and spill the beans. It’s just that experience has taught me to keep my nose out of somebody else’s business.

(Chico and Delle welcome your letters. Write to: youth@mb.com.ph or fax through 527-7511. Listen to the Dynamic Duo Monday to Saturday, 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. over Monster Radio RX 93.1)