Laurie Helgoe says that introverts are not anti-social, they just need breaks from the scoial scene to recharge.

Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D. is the internationally recognized author of “Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength’’ (Sourcebooks, 2008), the first book to reveal that introverts make up the majority — rather than a small minority — of the population.

A psychologist of 20 years, and introvert herself, Laurie enjoys the richness of an internally oriented life. She sees desire as a trustworthy guide – one that has taken her from traditional therapy practice to work as a commercial model and actor, to a writing career and five mass-market books (so far), and now to her Book It! literary consulting practice. Through her seminars and mentoring, Laurie is dedicated to helping writers become authors.

At least one out of four teens prefer to avoid the limelight, tends to listen more than they speak, feels alone in a crowd, and feels drained when exposed to too much stimulation. If you feel that this description matches you, you may just be an introvert!

In this interview with Students and Campuses Bulletin, Laurie Helgoe dispels the myths that introverts are shy, aloof and antisocial. Instead, she encourages young inner-thinking people to make the most of their abilities.

STUDENTS AND CAMPUSES BULLETIN (SCB): Can you define what an introvert/extrovert is?

LAURIE HELGOE (LH): Introverts are inwardly oriented. They like to take things in and think about them. They are energized by solitude and reflection, and they get over-stimulated and drained by too much social interaction.

Extroverts are the opposite. They feel better when they are out talking to other people. They like to have a lot going on and get bored when they are alone.

SCB: Can introverts enjoy other people’s company in silence?

LH: Yes, introverts are much more comfortable with silence and need breaks in conversations to allow for internal reflection. When an introvert is talking with another introvert, they usually take the conversation slower so each person has a chance to think before speaking (extroverts tend to speak as a way of “thinking out loud.”).

Introverts can also be “passionate observers,” enjoying the people and activity around them without feeling the pressure to be a part of it. Sometimes, however, an introvert is interested in talking but doesn’t have a chance because people are talking back and forth without a break. Introverts often enjoy being in the company with others while doing separate activities, e.g. reading or writing. That’s why coffee shops are great for introverts: people can read books or just sit by themselves -- without getting funny looks.

SCB: When most people think about the word introverted – they mostly regard that person as anti-social. Is that true?

LH: No, no, no! This is a very cruel way of describing an introvert, because “anti-social” refers to someone with no social conscience. Introversion doesn’t mean disliking people or even being uncomfortable with people. Introverts just need breaks from the social scene to recharge. And many introverts contribute to society when they are all by themselves, for example, by writing a book or a heartfelt letter or by thinking through a solution to a problem at work. One out of every two people is an introvert, and many have high-profile or leadership positions.

SCB: Are you stuck with being an introverted all your life?

LH: “Stuck with” assumes the introvert wants to be something else. Introverts generally like being introverts, though they often feel judged for being who they are. Biological “wiring” has a strong influence on whether a person is introverted or extroverted. Most of us have a mix of introversion and extroversion, but we usually feel a bit more comfortable with one of the styles. People usually stay with their preferred orientation though, overall, people get more introverted as they get older.

SCB: Do you think that it is possible for an introverted person to have a relationship with someone who is extroverted?

LH: Absolutely. I’m and introvert who has been happily married to an extrovert for 26 years! I’ve learned to be better about telling him when I need to be alone, and he lets me know when he wants to talk or get out with other people. Sure, there is conflict, but that’s how we grow.

SCB: What else is essential to know about introverts?

LH: We LIKE being introverts, and we find solitude interesting. If an introvert wants to be alone, don’t assume that person is a snob or depressed or uncomfortable with people.

SCB: What can non-introverted people learn about themselves from introverted people?

LH: They can learn to step back from the action and look inward, and by doing that, they learn more about what is going on beneath the surface. Extroverts like to be upbeat and active, but reflecting can help them face and work through problems they might be ignoring.

SCB: What can you advice teens who are mostly introverted? How can they make the most use of their personality style?

LH: Make sure you have time to yourself. Let others know that you sometimes need to check out and that doesn’t mean you don’t like them or that you are sad. Good communication helps others understand you better. Don’t apologize for who you are. Let people know what you like about being an introvert.