DEAR CHICO AND DELAMAR...We all had terror teachers growing up. I’m no different but what was different about my situation is that the terror teacher I had growing up focused solely on me.

It was something I couldn’t understand and still don’t understand now. I wasn’t a terrible kid, nor was I out of control. I had good grades when I started out in her class. But for some reason, I was always the one that she would pick on in class. She would snap at me even if I wasn’t disrupting the class, and if I did not know the answer to a question, I would get a dressing down so severe, I would be teary-eyed by the end. When I got second place at an inter-school competition, she commented unfavorably about it in class!

Because of what I was going through, my grades inevitably fell. When I told my parents that it was because of my teacher, they thought I was blowing things out of proportion because my grades were slipping. It was such relief when I finally graduated from high school. And perhaps because of what she did, I decided to pursue a degree in Education and be a better teacher than she ever was.

Just recently, I got accepted as a teacher at a school I’ve long admired. Imagine my horror when I find out that the very same teacher that bullied me back then was going to be my colleague!

I feel disappointed that someone like her is still teaching. Would it be a smart decision to tell the school administration of her cruel ways? Or should I bite my tongue and just let her break down one more unsuspecting kid? –Claudine

CHICO SAYS…Some battles you fight for yourself, some battles you fight for others.

What’s difficult with your beef with this teacher is that it’s unquantifiable. It’s like a kid complaining that her parents love her the least among all their children. If you were to bring them to a fictional “parental court”, what would be your hard evidence? And the concept of pinag-iinitan is just as un-measurable as affection.

Inasmuch as you cannot empirically measure love, you equally cannot measure hate. I understand that maybe the teacher probably did give you a hard time, but to say that she, and I quote, “focused solely on me”, might be a tad inaccurate. How do you know she didn’t give anyone else hell? I know it probably felt like it, but you cannot account for every single action she made as a teacher. You can speak for yourself, but you cannot do the same for every single student of hers.

But all that is in the past, what’s more important is your present predicament. Do you tell your school administration about your former tormentor? My question for you is: what exactly do you plan to tell them? That she gave you a hard time when you were young? Unless you level solid evidence to support your claims, you’ll only end up sounding like someone who has an immature bone to pick with a childhood nemesis. Unless you have proof of definable offenses like corporal punishment or sexual harassment, the rest is subject to interpretation. You’ll seem petty and nitpicking, and it’ll reflect worse on you than it will on her.

Which brings me back to my first statement – is this one battle you should fight for her future “victims”? It’s a valid proposition, but do you have the proper tools to fight it for them? Like I said, you have to have more than just childhood grudges to arm you with when confronting this menace in your younger school life. And you cannot speak for every single student she ever had. Who is to say that she hasn’t been a great teacher to other students? Just because you went through hell under her, doesn’t mean it’s what everyone else experienced. Maybe for every disgruntled ex-student, she has another extolling her many virtues.

So unless you have more meat on your bone of contention, I suggest you deal with her your way, and let her current students deal with her their way.

DELAMAR SAYS... I’m so sorry to hear that someone who was supposed to nurture you in school ended up being your biggest bully. And make no mistake, this kind of bullying is on an entirely different level of its own since she was in a position of power over you. How can a grown up who has all the advantage of years in age, size, experience, authority and position ever pick on a child? It is beyond me how a teacher can do that.

But it does happen. To a lesser degree my teacher did the same to me. My adviser bypassed and ignored my responsibilities and privileges as class president and gave it to her favorite in our class. I will spare you the details since your case was a lot worse than mine. You survived it. So did I. It is unfortunate that we had to go thru it but…well…it happened.

My advice is: don’t say a word to the school about it. You cannot cite her for something that happened many, many years ago. If ever you want to bring it up it will have to be with the teacher herself. Find a moment that you can tell her what she put you through. I think this is something you need to do for you. You can now defend yourself. You now can face her as an equal and it might be good for you to tell her exactly what she did to you.

This is not about picking a fight. It’s about being able to tell someone who bullied you what they did when you are able to face them eye to eye, equal in strength. I imagine it might be a liberating experience. Although you will have to find the right moment, the right frame of mind and choose your words correctly.

If you are worried about other students getting bullied by the same teacher, in my opinion, all that you can really do is keep an eye out for it. Keep a watchful but inconspicuous lookout for any kind of bullying she might be doing at present. If it is happening again, then report it. If not, then just observe and watch.

Other than that, I do not think that there is justice to be had for her bullying you. The only balance to be achieved is in confronting her about it but that’s all. You might get an apology, you might not. But that’s not important. What is important is that you have the courage to face someone who made your life difficult to tell them that what they did hurt you.

(Chico and Delle welcome your letters. Write to: youth@mb.com.ph or fax through 527-7511. Listen to the Dynamic Duo Monday to Saturday, 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. over Monster Radio RX 93.1)