MANILA, Philippines — Question: I am Lhen, a single mother of a three year-old boy with autism. I am so worried at the moment about start on his education. He is in regular learning school since last year, but since he is not like a normal kid, he can’t so much follow. But in the house, he is fond of reading books and he can pronounce what are in the photos. I would like him to be in therapy. He started last year but I discontinued his therapy because of his tantrums. What should I do? Is there a cheaper way to put him in therapy or special school? Thank you and hope to hear from you soon.

Thank you for your question Mommy Lhen. I am sure there are many parents out there who share your concerns and would also want to know how they could help their children cope with autism.

The high cost of therapy services makes it doubly challenging for parents, who aside from having to face the lifelong implications of the condition, have to contend with seeking for the most effective interventions available which they can afford.

Asking for help: The family support system

Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) are now considered as one of the most prevalent developmental disorders. Approximately one out of every 110 children is born with autism (Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 2010). Impairments in social interaction and communication, and repetitive patterns of behavior characterize ASD. These affect the child’s ability to learn and develop in the same way as most other children do. In spite of these limitations, children with ASD benefit greatly from early intervention wherein the family plays a very important role.

Being a single parent, the demands of raising a child with autism may seem overwhelming. However, there would always be people who would lend their support if you humbly ask — family members, close friends, and even teachers and therapists who would appreciate your commitment to your son’s development and provide you with options considering your financial and resource constraints.

Now is the time to ask for help. As the African proverb goes, “it takes a village to raise a child.” What more a child with special needs? A strong family support system is necessary for you to survive the challenges of raising a child with ASD. It may not come in the form of a spouse, but there would be lolos, lolas, titos and titas who may be more than willing to help you in the practical, day-to-day needs of your son as he courses through his therapy sessions, doctors’ appointments and school activities. It can be physically exhausting to raise a child with ASD. Having a strong family support system may be the only way to help you get by.

Dealing with tantrums: Trust and perseverance

• Trust your child's therapists. They are trained to handle children with extreme behaviors and should be patient and competent enough to manage your son’s tantrums. His tantrums will not go away on their own, but it would take time for him to be able to regulate his emotions better as he learns to handle frustration better. Giving in to his tantrums by discontinuing his therapy because of his “tantrums for the whole session” will only reinforce this behavior instead of eliminating it. He will learn that if I go into a tantrum, then I can get my way. The louder I cry, the better.

On the other hand, if he throws a tantrum and is still made to continue with the activities given to him during therapy, then he would eventually learn that his tantrums serve no purpose. His tantrums would most likely escalate as he tries to engage in a “power struggle” with his therapist, but if his therapist (and you!) will not give in, then his tantrums will definitely decrease over time. He would be able to manage his frustration better and be taught better ways of communicating what he wants and does not want using gestures if he still has difficulty expressing himself verbally.

• Persevere. Wear earplugs if you have to or leave the therapy session area when your son is throwing a tantrum and being handled by his therapist if you cannot stand seeing him struggle with his therapist. If you are in for the long haul, patiently endure his crying which would eventually stop (though it may take several sessions). Once he learns how to control his emotions better, then he would be able to sit down long enough to be taught the skills that he needs to learn.

Seeking for options for the child with ASD

There are government-funded early intervention centers and hospital-based therapy departments which charge minimal fees for professional therapy services. The Clinic for Therapy Services found in the U.P. Manila campus near the Philippine General Hospital (526-7125) and the Philippine Children’s Medical Center in Quezon City (924-6601) are among the government-funded institutions which render occupational, physical and speech therapy services for children with special needs.

Likewise, there are also public schools which have Special Education (SPED) Centers that cater to children with various exceptionalities. You can visit the Philippine Department of Education website (www.deped.gov.ph) to acquire a listing of these schools.

The Autism Society Philippines (926-6941) has recently published a directory of resources for persons with autism in the Philippines (2010). It has the most comprehensive listing of schools and therapy centers accepting children with ASD.

There is hope for your son. You may be a single parent struggling to cope with your son’s difficult behavior and trying to make ends meet. Nevertheless, you have your family to support you, therapists to guide you, and people you have yet to meet who can help you discover the blessings that come with raising a child with autism.

(The author is the executive director of ALRES-PHILS., a faculty of the SPED Department of Miriam College, and an Inclusive Education Specialist. A pediatric physiotherapist and special educator, she is presently pursuing her doctorate studies majoring in Special Education at U.P. Diliman. She is a staunch advocate for children with special needs. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask our SPED specialists. Just send your queries to MByouthsection@gmail.com)