MANILA, Philippines — Dear Chico and Delamar... I'm a 16-year-old guy who just recently went on his first date. I went to a nice restaurant with the girl I'm going out with, and then we watched a movie afterwards. As far I know, we had a good time, because she agreed to go out on another date with me when I asked her out again.

However, I started having doubts when I started talking to my other guy friends. The thing is, near the end of our dinner at the restaurant, I had to go to the restroom for a bit, and by the time I got back, my date had already paid for the meal. I offered to pay her back, but she would only accept half of the bill. I did pay for the movie that we watched.

My friends say that I should have paid for the whole cost of the meal rather than just half of it. According to them, the fact that she would only let me pay for half is a signal that she only sees me as a friend and nothing more. Did I really break dating etiquette rules by not footing the entire bill for our date? Are Mmy friends correct in saying that she only sees me as a friend? Is she just being polite by agreeing to another date with me? - CJ

Chico says...

Of course the general rule is, if you were the one who asked a girl out on a date, then you are expected to pay for everything.

But don't worry, I don't think you did anything wrong because you would have paid for dinner had your date not paid for it sneakily while you were in the toilet. Plus you offered (I hope you insisted) to reimburse her, it's not like you could force her to take your money.

Actually it was a weird move from your date to have paid for dinner with such stealth. I must agree with your friends that on the surface, a girl would insist on paying for her share, so as not to beholden her to you in any way, especially to a follow-up date. But if she agreed to another date, then the only way to test the theory is to call her on it and ask her out again!

Is it possible that she's only being polite by agreeing? Yes. But I think it's worth the risk. It would suck if you backed out now on the sole basis of a hunch, only to find out that you misjudged her and that she actually likes you.
Better wait until she finds her courage to tell you she's not into you, than to prematurely end something that might not need ending in the first place. It takes courage to play the game of love. Only the brave bring home the spoils.
Don't be so easily discouraged, go for who you want, go all out and get the girl. Even if you crash and burn every now and then, all out is always the way to go. When it comes to love, half-baked never cuts it.

Delamar says...

Don’t listen to your friends. I’m sure they mean well but YOU are in the best position to know if your date liked you or not.

So far as you know, you both had a great time. And she DID say yes to another date. So, I don’t think there is anything to worry about. Don’t let an overkill post-analysis of your date spoil things for you. She says she wants to go out with you again. That is a good sign.

Yes, her paying for her dinner was a little off. But she let you pay for the movie. To me, that can still go both ways. You still have a fighting chance she is interested in you romantically not platonically.

But you need to be clear with her that your intentions are, first and foremost, romantic. Do that when you make plans for the next date. Say something like, “Hey, this date is on me, ok?” Leave nothing to chance that she knows your true romantic intentions. Bring flowers, if that’s your style. Or bring a gift that a friend won’t give but a suitor certainly would. In other words, act like a date.

The good news here is that you have all the time to find out more about her and to show her who you are and what exactly your plans are — namely to make her your girlfriend… eventually. Take it slow but make sure she also sees you as a potential boyfriend not just a friend.

(Chico and Delle welcome your letters. Write to: youth@mb.com.ph or fax through 527-7511. Listen to the Dynamic Duo Monday to Saturday, 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. over Monster Radio RX 93.1)