MANILA, Philippines — Dear Chico and Delamar... I'm a recent graduate who recently started working as a tutor to high school students. The job has been great so far, and most of my students have been a joy to work with and teach. One incident with a teenage boy, however, has kind of thrown me in for a loop.

During a tutoring session with a 14-year-old, I left the room to get a glass of water and upon coming back caught him...“adjusting’’ himself. I don't think he meant to do it in front of me as he immediately pulled his hand out of his pants and apologized. I told him to wash his hands and not to do it again.

But ever since then, I've found out that this isn't something that is unique to this particular teenager. Almost every teenage boy I've tutored, at one point or another during the lesson, will have their hands wander down and adjust themselves in what they think is a discreet manner. I've stopped reprimanding after the third boy and just wipe everything down after every lesson.

Are today's boys just freer with their hands than they were in my time, or have I just not been all that observant when I was a teenager? My male colleagues tell me that it's just something that some teenage boys do when they're nervous. Should I just continue my strategy of ignoring and wiping afterwards, or should I bring this up with all my students? — Sheba

Chico says… As a man, let me tell you that at any age, we really tend to adjust our "equipment" on a regular basis because it could be quite uncomfortable when what should be "north" has gone "south", or what should be "south" has gone "north" (or west, east, NW, SW, as the case may be).

To us it's not really gross, because our mini-me is relatively cleaner than other dirty bits like say, the butt. So we don't really see the need to wash our hand after we adjust. Most men feel like it's no different from scratching your head (the one held up by the neck). So it's not rare to find a man who'd proceed to eat his peanut butter sandwich after making "kambyo".

When we get older, we learn to be a little bit more discreet, learning how to adjust from the outside, or stomping one foot to loosen sticks and boulders that got stuck in painful angles, or changing our stance to create spaces where body parts can move to. But sometimes, our "tarzan" gets entangled by the "vines", so that leaves us with no choice but to use our hand to free our trapped little man.

Honestly, most men think that our little changes in gear are so deftly done that no one notices. You are not the first female who've noticed that men do it so brazenly in public. You have to believe me when I tell you that we actually think no one sees it! It's as if, if we look away as we do it, then no one else will see it as well. Of course we fail to realize that everybody around us sees it. If we had to go to the toilet to adjust, then wash our hands after, men's hands would be chapped to the bone right now. I'm not saying it's right, but what I am saying is, it's normal.

As for your situation, I say it's your call. Some teachers let kids pick their noses. Others would insist they do it in the privacy of the toilet and the offending "treasure" (because he had to dig deep for it) properly disposed of with tissue and hands washed after. If you're OC and find the whole teenage-crotch-sweat gross, then lay down the law. But if you can learn to be cool with it, as long as the hand doesn't stay in the pants any longer than three seconds, I suggest you let it go.

Delamar says... For my advice, please read Chico’s reply. Just kidding!

To be totally honest though, I have to say that because of the obvious difference in anatomy. I wouldn’t know why guys do it or, if it is really necessary, what is the acceptable frequency of the "adjustment'' and how to do it discreetly.

The only encounter I had with this was I remember a classmate back in high school whose real name escapes me now but I do remember that all the boys in the class called him "cambio.'' His nickname stuck but his real name was lost in the hazy memory of high school. Funny which ones you remember and what you forget.

So, this advice is from a fellow girl who has no idea about why boys do it and how they should be doing it. If it were me, I would do exactly as you did it. Call them on it and just keep telling them to wash their hands when you catch them doing it. You can even explain how unhygienic it is for them to touch all your things after they have touched themselves in the most private of their parts. Keep asking them to wash their hands as often as you need to before they just stop doing it because it’s such a hassle to go and wash every time they adjust.

Remember, you are a teacher too not just a tutor. Since their anatomy is changing and they probably still don’t know how to act as young men, it is your chance/opportunity to teach them how it affects other people. It’s better to assume they don’t know any better that’s why they do it. And then proceed to teach them not to do it in public and if they really need to do it to just wash their hands after.

Such is my limited knowledge on the matter and that is how I probably would address it if I were in your place. In the meantime, before the lesson is fully learned just keep lots of rubbing alcohol on hand. While you are it, why not bring alcohol spray and if you are in doubt, at any point, make them stretch out their hands and proceed to spray them at any point you feel like they might have touched themselves and not washed their hands? Try it and let’s see if they finally get that it is unhygienic.

(Chico and Delle welcome your letters. Write to: youth@mb.com.ph or fax through 527-7511. Listen to the Dynamic Duo Monday to Saturday, 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. over Monster Radio RX 93.1)