Hands that 'Spank' the Cradle

By AMYLINE QUIEN CHING
August 21, 2011, 11:51am

MANILA, Philippines -- Heads up parents! Spanking kids may soon land you in jail.

House Bill 4455 or the Positive and Non-Violent Discipline of Children Act just passed its third and final reading in Congress and it has sparked heated debates among parents. The bill prohibits physical punishment and any acts that subject children to indignities and humiliation including the classic Filipino discipline tactics: pingot (pinching of the ears), kurot (pinching), sabunot (hair pulling) and luhod sa asin (to kneel on a bed of rock salt for hours).

Manila Bulletin Moms&Babies talked to several celebrities to get their take on spanking children. Is corporal punishment necessary to raise well-behaved and responsible children? Does it really work or should parents just stick to verbal admonishments?

Not to spank for me because I believe more in setting good examples and talking to your child about something that has to be dealt with. Spanking instills fear. - Gwen Cariño, PR Consultant 

We all need a compass. Maricel and I rely on the scripture,  which we believe is also God's "instruction book." "Spare the rod, spoil the child," the book of Proverbs reminds us. But it also says "Do all in love." There are thousands of ways to discipline kids. Don't be consumed by one approach. Study, explore, and see what's most effective. If I only do what comes to mind & what I'm used to, I’m lazy and I should not be surprised if my kids give me a failing grade for the quarter!   - Anthony Pangilinan, Change Advocate

Yes to discipline, no to spanking. As a father to my twins, I haven't had the need to do it. Talking is far better  in order to make an impression on children's minds. Spare the rod! - Senator Chiz Escudero

No to spanking. For some parents it's a way of disciplining. I personally don’t believe in it. I think it's a violation of children's rights. In this day and age, there are other ways of showing discipline; ways that may be less harmful to children. - Cheryl Cosim, Senior Correspondent, News-5

NOT TO SPANK. I used to spank my son when he was little, when he would refuse to follow the usual rules of the house. I realized later on that he responded more positively to verbal dialogue and explanations than to physical hurt. Physical reprimand scared him but it did not stop him from disobeying the rules repeatedly whenever he had the chance. - Abel Tejam, AVP Brand Marketing, for Toys “R” Us

Not to spank because it’s better to discipline a child by taking away privileges like toys and doing time-out. Spanking and other corporal punishments has no place in rearing children, if you want them to become non-violent citizens. - Dawn Zulueta, TV and Movie Actress

I don’t subscribe to spanking. Anya is six years old. Julius [Babao] has never laid hands on her, not our hands, not even a brush or a belt. This is our way of disciplining: we talk to her like an adult. Eye to eye contact. In a low and soft but strict and serious ''I mean business'' tone. We explain to her the consequences of certain actions and ask her if she is ready to deal with their implications. We make our child think. We were lucky though because we did not need to deal with tantrums when Anya was just two years old. Now that we have a one-year-and-six-months-old old baby, Nio, many warned us that it would be different because mas matigas daw ulo ng mga boys. We have yet to see that. For now, our baby boy is still easy to handle. Maswerte kami kasi generally, mababait ang mga anak namin. Nadadaan sa pakiusap. Di na kailangan pang paluin. - Christine Bersola-Babao, Creative Director of www.parentin.tv/children’s book author/bazaar organizer

NOT TO SPANK. Spanking is a highly tricky way of disciplining that only VERY FEW parents can get away with. Most often children will resent their parents and feel that they are "BAD".  It also shows the child that it is the way to resolve conflict.- Cherie Mercado-Santos, News Anchor, TV-5

I don't spank. I think spanking dilutes the message: the kids remember the pain/fear,and don't see the reason for the rule. Then they grow up afraid of authority and wary of making mistakes, when they need critical thinking and lakas loob to succeed in life.

I prefer other discipline methods: consistent rules, time outs, logical consequences (like if they can't put away their toys, I tell them they can't play with those for a week). Each time, I tell them as simply as I can why the rule is important.- Dedet Reyes-Panabi, editor-in -chief of Metro Working Mom Magazine

I used to spank my kids, once or twice with my eldest. My husband Paolo (Abrera) did not approve and still does not. I agree with him now because it takes longer to resolve an issue when there is spanking involved since we have to explain and process the issue after. So, I just skip the spanking and go straight to the discussion. -Suzi Abrera, GMA-7 TV Host

For me, spanking is not necessary because if a child does something wrong which is normal at a young age, all you have to do is to explain to them why they should not do it again. Communication is very important. If a child does something wrong, all the more that you should show them love, compassion, care rather than be violent or physically abuse them. - Camarines Sur Governor LRay Villafuerte

I do not subscribe to spanking under any circumstances or for any reason. I especially do not believe in the use of any spanking tool such as a paddle. A child is a precious gift -one we should uphold in reverence and love. To take disciplinary action by inflicting physical pain is myopic and medieval. It also exhibits conditionality, possessiveness and a misuse of power. There are many more creative ways to instill discipline and impart values on our children. - Hindy Weber-Tantoco Fashion Designer

TO SPANK. In the bible it says in Proverbs 13:24, "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." When my wife & I spank to discipline, it is administered in love. Prior to this, we set ground rules, identifying the minor from major wrongdoings. When they do it again then we spank...only for the major ones.

Before we spank, we consider the place, circumstances & not publicly embarrass the child. We make sure that the child understood our instructions before we correct the child. We ask him what he did wrong. Then,  we explain to him that we love him that's why he'll get spanked because we want to help him to learn to do the right thing next time. Spank only once... never in frustration or anger. Comfort the child immediately after spanking so the child doesn't feel rejected. – Angelo Lozada, Chief Operating Officer of the Bert Lozada Swim Schools 

We reward our children for their good behavior and achievements. The penalty style of spanking and instilling fear is a master-slave mentality!  - Felicia Atienza, President of Chinese International School

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