MANILA, Philippines — My mother Carolina “Arling” Lapus Gozon passed away before Christmas at 97. She led a fulfilled life, a remarkable one and touched many others. I like to share with you a bit about her principles in Life and her Faith.

My mother was an entrepreneur and my father was a government official. We always had good food on the table, decent clothes to wear and my father always had the best barong. Later I realized it was because my mother spent ONLY on the basics and spent practically NOTHING for herself. She is very simple. You will never know if she has money or not. She did not spend on unnecessary things and never tried to keep up with anyone. To get to P100, that one cent is important. At 10 years old, Nanay broke her piggy bank to give her Tatay to complete the last P100 he needed to pay for the property he was buying. Her P0.20 “baon” was intact, unspent daily.

My mother wanted to see all four of us children go to graduate studies abroad. With my fathers' pay as a government official, there was no way he could support that ambition. So mother worked hard, she even drove a jeepney (when women drivers were still unheard of) to sell her ‘patis’ in public markets. When my father got salary increases, my mother saved the increase, as if none was given, since they were used to living in the lower salary anyway. So again, she had enough funds when the time came to send all of us abroad. Oh, she may have been the first “recycler." Nothing goes to waste. And guess what she did with the old kulambos? She made them as kamisetas of my elder brothers Ben and Henry. Nothing goes to waste. I now find myself doing a lot of recycling and find joy in being able to create use for what could have been waste.

While she does not spend on herself and on luxuries, she is actually quite generous with her loved ones especially on her time and she does not scrimp on good food. She was a giver and gave what she had as the Lord leads her. She invested well too. And she taught us the virtues of honesty as her mother did before her.

Nanay gave high values to family. To ensure her grandchildren grow up close to each other, she brought them all to Baguio for summer vacations. She always remind that no matter how successful one with career, it is meangningless if the family is broken. And she walked the talk. For Ate Kay not to be far from Kuya Nards during her children’s studies in the US, Nanay volunteered stay in the US, being a stricter guardian to the kids.

Nanay was actually a very insecure young girl. She even had inferiority complex as she was the darkest in the family. She also felt she was the least intelligent among her sisters: A medical doctor, a CPA lawyer and the first lady professor in the UP College of Law. She said, “Sa UP, you need to study, kamuntik na ako “maUPEsa UP.” So Nanay was the most surprised when told she got the UP Centennial Family award during its 100th anniversary in 2008.

Nanay’s life and experiences demonstrates Gods favor. At 55, Nanay started salt beds in Dasol, Pangasinan. One time her help was sought for a roof needed in church. She prayed for guidance as the funds she had then was needed to finish the ground floor of our house for eldest brother Ben who was to marry soon. She prayed and was led to give her earmarked money for the roof. In faith, she gave the funds for the church roof trusting the Lord will provide. And the next event is something no one can strategize. The rains fell hard in Dasol except on Nanay’s salt beds. It was as if a humongous umbrella protected it. The salt went sky rocket high that season and from her salt sales, she was able to complete the ground floor in time for my Kuya’s wedding.

Nanay said that if there is only one thing that she can teach us, it is what her own mother, my Lola taught her: The power of Jesus and that Jesus is all we need. My daughter Tricia is a testimony that her Lola’s teachings have been ingrained well. When confronted by a flying plywood from the truck ahead of them, sure to hit their car window where her son Nando was seated, all she could do was cry out “Jesus! Jesus!“and suddenly a strong wind caused the plywood to change its course!

In “Libro ni Arling” a complilation of her poems which she started writing at age 75…we find that Jesus is her good friend. She wrote: “HESUS HESUS AKING MABUTING KAIBIGAN. TUNAY NA IKAW LAMANG ANG KAILANGAN. SA BUHAY NA ITO NA PURO KAGULUHAN. DI DAPAT MATAKOT KUNG KAMAY KO’Y IYONG HINAHAWAKAN”

There are things in life that books and schools can’t teach us. When confronted with things/events beyond us, this New Year my prayer is that we will remember Nanay’s legacy: To live simply, spend only on the essentials to be prepared for both good opportunities and rainy days, work hard, be honest, keep family intact, pray and most of all, turn to Jesus!

* * *

Ms. Tarriela is Chair of Phil. National Bank. She was formerly Undersecretary of Finance and the first Filipina vice president of Citibank N.A.