MANILA, Philippines — Not ot mine, my wife’s. Growing up on the other side of the world,  I learnt to travel light when at the age of 15 I went on camping trip in Germany. I thought I was too grand for a rucksack so I foolishly took a suitcase. After walking 100 yards, my arms ached. And I had to walk for miles! After this experience, for a few carefree years, I could live for a month out of one bag. Marriage changed all that.

My wife, however, believes in luggage. Really believes. “You men don’t understand that we need to be prepared for any eventuality” she asserts. When we travel back and forth to Europe it means, to her, that we always need both warm weather and cold weather clothes. Of course, we need day clothes and evening clothes – and a wide choice because we can’t be sure where we will be eating, what will be the dress code, or what our mood will be. I say we – I fight to keep my wardrobe simple but my wife says “You don’t think I’m letting you wear the same old things every day, and make me look bad, do you?” All the clothes are beautifully laid out and wrapped in tissue paper – I swear the tissue paper alone weighs five kilos.  Heaviest of all, the shoes and the bags, necessary of course to match the wide range of outfits – they alone fill one decent sized bag.

Then there are vital supplies. Toiletries – my wife is an avid collector of things from hotel rooms and we usually have a dozen or two in case she doesn’t like the ones from our next hotel. Need a sewing kit? Just ask – we are sure to have six. Food supplies include tea bags, salt and pepper, and a range of jams and marmalades for breakfast just in case. And medical supplies – one day I will be able to deal single-handed with a major disaster.

To minimize the cost of excess baggage, the hand baggage always weighs a ton. I work out constantly with weights to prepare me for lifting it into the overhead locker. Despite this precaution, there is always too much to check in and thanks to the excess baggage I’ve learnt a new skill in life – pleading with the check in person not to charge me extra. Big smiles and apologies, threats to change airline, and when that doesn’t work tears – I’m not proud. A couple of years ago there was very bad news. British Airways and partners increased their business class baggage allowance. So on the last trip, we returned with 11 bags, only one of which was a paper carrier, and not counting an umbrella. My chiropractor just redecorated his office. I’m sure that my post-travel visits paid for the improvements.

When I lived in Japan I really admired businessmen whose idea of packing for a trip was to put a spare pair of underpants in their briefcase. Oh for the simple life!

Isn’t it an odd world that we live in?