MANILA, Philippines — One inimitable journalistic style of Walter Winchell (‘New York Daily Mirror’ syndicated columnist from 1929 to 1963) was what he called “compilation of sundry  remarks.” Example of one column topic  –  “Remarks that New York City Pedestrians Get Tired of Hearing.”

This corner’s version is on remarks that Filipino senior citizens are never tired of hearing. Hence:

At seniors’ citizen counter of a drugstore chain:

“Your discounts are 12 percent e-VAT exemption, plus, the standard 20 percent seniors’ discount. ‘Yung toothpaste ng caregiver n’yo, di po kasama.”

“In this prescription pad, your doctor did not write any medicine for – you say – your erectile dysfunction?”

“Your purchase booklet is completely filled up. You need to have a new one.”

“Only prescription medicines specified in your ‘resita’ will be discounted.”

“Ang tawag dun, ‘prescription ethical medicines,’ at discounted yun. Ang gusto n’yong bilhin ay ‘over-the-counter drugs’. Walang discount ang mga yun.”

“This prescription pad of yours is still dated January 2, 2002. Please get a new one from your doctor.”

“Para sa ubo, ka n’yo? Ito ang bilhin n’yo. Mabisa ‘to. Sabi nga ng TV komersyal, wag yung dahon-dahon!”

At a movie entrance-ticket cubicle.

“We don’t allow free movies today. Please come back tomorrow.”

“If you don’t mind, ma’am. Today is the third time you would be watching this film!”

“Today is Monday. Free movies for seniors like you guys are only on Wednesday and Friday.”

“Your free entrance today is good only here in Quezon City. You may not be given a similar privilege in Angeles City.”

“The CR for men is at the first door to you right.”

“No, we don’t have ushers to wake you up.”

At a restaurant.

“Your discount is big. And we don’t bill you for ‘service-charge.’ Bahala na kayo sa akin.”

“Combo-meal po yung inorder n’yo. Wala na pong discount yun.”

“We give discounts – 12 percent e-VAT and 20 percent seniors’ – only to you, not to your grandchildren!”

“Ang picture dito sa ID n’yo, mukhang high school pa kayo!”

“We will give you your discounts now. But if you come back and order food and drinks this afternoon, there are no more discounts.”

“Please drop some of your loose change into this canister – our service-tip box.”

“Please drop some of your loose change into this canister – our charity fund for hungry families.”

In public utility vehicles.

“Puro barya itong binayad n’yo!”

“I can help you with your seniors’ discount, but you’ll be on your own once you get off this bus.”

“What do you mean, you should get a 50 percent discount just because you did not find a vacant seat?”

“Your home address? Of course, I don’t know where your home is!”

“I already gave you your change.”

“Watch out for pickpockets!”