MANILA, Philippines — Bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person. Ironically, incidents of bullying in the Philippines are getting some international attention.

According to the paper “Bullying in Middle Schools: An Asian Pacific Regional Study by the Asia Pacific Education Review (2008, Vol. 9, No.4),” Filipino children have a higher rate of being “made fun of” by other children (57-58 percent) than school children in Australia, Hongkong, Indonesia, Japan, Malaysia, New Zealand, Singapore and Taiwan.

In all categories, the Philippines ranked higher than the rest: 39 percent experienced theft; 36 percent were physically hurt; 45 percent were forced to do things they didn’t want to do; and 30 percent were left out of groups.

SHE HAD IT THE HARD WAY

Feliz, 21, remembered the darkest days of her high school years.

“Iwas a transferee from private to public school. The adjustments were very hard. Ihad to deal with new people with different lifestyle. Ifelt like Iwas different. My schoolmates would always stare at me from head to toe.” Feliz recalled.

She initially thought this was just having freshman jitters on her first week. But as weeks passed, she realized that almost everyone hated her and she had no idea why.

“They made rumors about me. They said Iwas a flirt, but Ijust ignored them. Iknew the truth,” she said.

Just like any other transferees, Feliz had a hard time finding friends. It was a struggle for her emotionally. The only person whom she could turn to was her mother.

In her second year, things became even more difficult although she had adjusted to the environment and to the people. She became comfortable with her environment, volunteering to be part of a cultural dance competition, as well as participating in beauty contests in school. She became very active in non-academic activities.

“Irealized that Iwon’t grow if I’ll dwell on those people who attacked me with nonsense rumors, Ijust focused on being productive,” she said.

She enjoyed doing what she loved but her schoolmates especially her classmates did not like what she was doing. “It was hard for me because Iparticipated in school activities not just to gain confidence but also for my classmates to appreciate me as a person, that Iam not just a pretty girl, Ialso have other skills to show.”

But then again, her teachers hated her. She was even made the topic of every conversation in school. “Every time I’d volunteer for something, the teacher would hesitate to consider me. Ifelt like Iwas unwanted. It really hurt. The way teachers treated me was different. Iknew they had favorites but Icould really see their body language towards me,” she added.

IT’S THE ATTITUDE THAT COUNTS

While almost all bullied students keep their feelings to themselves, Feliz made sure that her mother knew about everything going on in school.

“My mother asked for updates on how my day was and encouraged me to always be open to everything happening in school,’’ she said.

Feliz did the right thing by being brave enough to share her condition with her family. Students and teachers experiencing bullying should be vigilant to report any actions of this nature. There are worst instances that bullied students commit, suicide for instance, because they could not cope with their frustrations.

ACTIVE, PASSIVE, AGGRESSIVE

According to Ms. Louela Allanic, a psychologist from the University of San Carlos, there are three categories in responding to bullying – active, passive and aggressive.

Active response includes actions like reporting, standing up, and speaking out against bullying.

Passive response involves crying, ignoring the bullying and walking away.

Aggressive response includes fighting back or retaliating.

“The best response is the active response. The best thing you can do is to report the bullying to a teacher, parent or trusted adult. When the incident is occurring, you may wish to just ignore the bully, walk away or stand up to them but always report it later,” Ms. Allanic added.