Would you wax and pluck your toddler’s eyebrows? A blog post from a former reality show teen mom recently sparked an outrage among netizens. A lot of the parents gave Farrah Abraham a piece of their mind, even prompting one news format host to call the act  “reprehensible”.

While this may seem like something quite farfetched in the local setting, a common sight in the country would be little girls prancing about in skimpy attire and half-inch heels, not only in talent shows on TV, but also in malls across the Metro. According to Ali Gui, who forms part of the team of child experts at Sunflower on the Hill Center in Taytay, Rizal, it is not only distasteful but also potentially harmful.

“I was at a mall once, and I saw a little girl with her mom and dad. She had digi-permed hair and was wearing a pink tube top, short pink shorts, boots with a bit of a heel, and those little plastic heart-shaped sunglasses. The glasses were probably too dark and the heels may have affected her balance, and she almost bumped her head on a store shelf. I know, because I was the one who caught her. The dad was just laughing it off, and he looked so proud at how dressed up and sexy his daughter looked.”

Her observation of the dad gives a clue of the underlying problem of toddlers wearing suggestive clothing. “Unconsciously, this gives a signal to the child to look for approbation on how they look and dress from their male relatives – the dad, kuya, or uncle. Worse, it can also give an underlying signal as consent for advances and molestation.”

Dolled up

“My heart goes out to these little girls wearing that kind of clothing,” Gui says. “What kind of women will they grow up to be? Parents are treating them like dolls, but who wants to be a doll, as opposed to a real girl?”

According to Gui, there will be an impact on how they will mature and view sexuality as they grow up and this will also have an effect on their self-esteem. “If they are always given the idea that they have to dress or look a certain way to be appealing, they will have problems with body image. Society will be the one to dictate how they think they should look,” Gui adds. She explains that eventually, they will be the ones who will obsess over their appearance and will panic if they feel that they are too fat or too dark, and might get depressed and get into alcohol or substance abuse and eating disorders.

Neat and sweet

So how are girls supposed to dress up, then? Moms can get a fashion clue from Monica Padilla of Manyika Clothing. "When I begin the design process, aside from thinking of the colors I want to use or the silhouettes I want to go for, I always go back to thinking that it is a little girl who will wear this.  Little girls are more delicate, and style and function always have to be incorporated into their clothes.  More than the cuteness factor, clothes for kids should be wearable, comfortable and adjustable."

She adds, "The problem is that little girls end up looking like plastic dolls in very mature clothing. There’s too much going on in one outfit.  There are sequins and bling, shiny accessories, ruffles, and a lot more.”

The era of those itchy Sunday’s Best clothes of our childhood days are thankfully over, as more children’s clothes designers are keeping comfort in mind. Monica says, “Women will bear a little discomfort in order to look amazing. For kids, however, itchy trims, too many buttons, fabric that is hot or too thick will not be tolerated. So, I have to always design to make kids comfortable. For parties or more formal occasions, there are a lot of dresses out there that use nicer fabrics to have that something extra special without the itchy petticoat or the tight necklines that were uncomfortable to us as kids.”

It's Up to You!

But what if the child still wants to dress up as a starlet? After all, that is what she sees on TV. Gui, says there are three things that moms can do:

1. Be a model.

“If your daughter is asking for short skirts and bling-bling, ask her 'si mommy ba ganyan magbihis?’ Little girls will always want to emulate their mothers, and often, they will get your cues from you.”

2. Hold the purse strings.

“If she asks for a new outfit that you think is too risqué, you can ask her to make a choice. Tell her you might not have enough for either the dress or a snack at the mall. Chances are, a three- or  five-year-old will choose the snack over shopping.”

3. Get your girl into sports.

“Being active will teach your daughter that there is something more to taking care of her body than just looking good; that taking care of her body will help her in her chosen sport.”