THE four farmers sat under the mango tree after a heavy noonday meal. The oppressive sun and the humid air called for resting. When the searing heat subsided a little, they could return to their plowing of the rice field. It had rained two days earlier. So the soil was perfect for the carabaos to plod on while pulling the plow.
As the farmers fanned themselves with their
buri (palm leaf) hats, their work animals wallowed in the mud puddle to cool off.
Out of nowhere, the first farmer asked, "
Mga abay (friends), what would you consider your most hated object or experience?’’
"Why, what is yours?’’ countered the second farmer seated and leaning on the main trunk of the mango tree.
"I hated that gorilla. Imagine, the big hunk of an animal embraced me from behind and crushed me until I almost crumpled,’’ recounted the first farmer. "And just to indicate that I would not fight and was willing to surrender, I raised both hands.’’
"And the gorilla let you go?’’
"Yes, but he then pointed a shotgun at my head.’’
"What did you do then?’’
"What else? I had to marry his daughter. I am referring to my father-in-law.’’
The group burst out laughing.
"In my case,’’ pursued the second farmer, "I hated my son-in-law.’’
"Why?’’
"He is so lazy. He is jobless and worst of all he is a loudmouth.’’
"That is not so bad.’’
"Yes, but during the wedding with my daughter, he shouted so much. Why, my daughter almost had a miscarriage.’’
The other three giggled with abandon.
The third farmer stepped in, "I hate the prison house
(kalaboso). You see, I was imprisoned because I was charged with rape.’’
"You are 75 years old and you commit rape? Were you really guilty?’’
"No, I did not do anything. But when I got charged with rape, I was so flattered that I pleaded guilty.’’
The group laughed until their eyes welled with tears.
"Hey about you?’’
The fourth farmer responded, "I hate swimming pools. You see I was caught urinating and the lifeguard almost lynched me.’’
"But people urinate in the swimming pool all the time,’’ said the third farmer.
The fourth farmer stood up to relieve himself on the tall cogon grass beside their resting area. He replied, "I did it on the diving board.’’
