I do remember making such lists in grade school, though — only because some teachers would ask it of us, and of course failure to oblige meant having no grade. They’d even return our papers so that we could check up on ourselves — papers I never looked at again until months later, when I decided to de-clutter my school bag, "Hey, this looks familiar." And then I’d smirk at all the pa-impress stuff I had written down.

As a kid, I may have been gullible in so many ways.

Like how some classmates would convince me that they were trustworthy enough to keep a secret. I’d believe, tell them who I was crushing on at the moment, and the next day have everyone teasing me. But at least, when it came to this New Year tradition, I was smart enough to take one look into myself and simply say, "It won’t work."

Ten years later, I look into myself and still say, "It won’t work… Ooh, look at the fireworks!" And I’m sure I’m not the only one who has realized this by now.

I hope I’m not misinterpreted as being anti-maturity. I am, in fact, a big fan of personal growth. And I have grown. I look at my past selves and realize that I’m so far away.

But I’m not one of those people who say that they were much better as children and don’t understand who they have become as of present. As the years go by, I love myself more and more, the present me without a doubt much better than the past versions of myself.

The thing is, growth can’t be rushed, not even with the little things. If maturity were a person, he’d be big and important enough to demand time, nonchalantly saying of those restlessly urging him on, "Let them wait."

I look at my life, and that’s what I see: That I never learned my lessons until I was ready.

All the people reprimanding me, telling me what I should do, how I should think, my feeling terrible, my attempts to change — they never worked.

And it didn’t matter if it was New Year, how much my weakness was costing me, or if I was already pissing off too many people. Even the fact that I was doing wrong was irrelevant. I never changed before the appointed time.

But when I finally did, it was like having a new body. I’d stay awake at night just marveling at myself and being grateful to God. As I said, "Let them wait."

And that’s why I don’t bother. If it won’t work anyway, and if it will only make me feel like such a terrible being, when I’m really not that bad at all, then count me out.

When I do start to try, and it isn’t so hard, that’s when I know the time has come.

Life gets rough on me, too. It’s tough enough, and I’m not about to make it harder. I dance whenever I can, for when the times go bitter, I have no choice but to swallow.

Letting go and yielding is all there is to growth. But if you want to make resolutions anyway just for the sake of tradition, there’s nothing wrong about it. At least you and your friends will have a grand time laughing at each other as you flunk, flunk, flunk. Come to think of it, it seems like an amusing game. Maybe I will try it out some time.