I have a boyfriend and I love him very much. We’ve been together for nearly two years now. He is a very attractive fellow who, I believe, has a strong sex appeal.

A few weeks back, he met this girl Nina, a classmate of his sister. Nina is a single mom. Everytime Nina would drop by their house, my boyfriend told me Nina would insinuate about her liking him. Weeks passed and these insinuations turned into sexual innuendo which my boyfriend said he never reciprocated. Nina has been sending sexual messages to him, daring him to engage in a sexual relationship. The worst of it all was when this message, which my boyfriend forwarded to me, was sent: "I really want to do it with you.’’ My boyfriend shows me these text messages and assures me that there is nothing for me to worry about (what else is he going to say!). He swears, and inferring from Nina’s text messages, that he has not (and does not plan to) reciprocate.

One time, my boyfriend left his cellphone with me, asking me to charge it because he lost his charger. He left it with me overnight after I came home from a night out. In the wee hours of the morning, I decided to text her from my boyfriend’s phone and see how she would respond. With just one text, at this unholy hour, she responded quickly. Suffice it to say that she flooded "my boyfriend’’ (which was actually me using the phone) with messages that directly said she wanted to have sex with him.

The following day, I asked my boyfriend about it and he scolded me for doing that, saying that by doing so and pretending to reciprocate her advances, I gave Nina false hopes about him. He said he had not been answering Nina’s text messages in the past, literally ignoring her and by doing what I did, I gave Nina more reason to be persistent.

I wanted to confront her (although I do not know her personally and have never seen her shadow) to tell her off, but I know my boyfriend would not want this. He does not want to dignify her actions.

What should I do? Nanggigigil ako! Should I confront her and tell her to stop, text her or should I just ignore her knowing very well that my boyfriend does the same. If I confront her, how should I do it? She knows about me by the way. If not, how can I make her stop? She is relentless and judging by her SMS, she will not take "no’’ for an answer. I know you might say not to mind her, but this is getting to be a major irritant, plus the fact that my boyfriend, no matter how much I trust him, might be tempted by this "free lunch.’’ Help! - May

CHICO SAYS… First of all, it wasn’t very prudent for you to text the girl pretending to be your boyfriend. I agree with him that you could very well have made matters worse, not only for him, but by extension, also for yourself. Although you have every right to be incensed by her audacity and tenacity in seducing your man, you could have taken the higher road and not played mind games with her.

As for the other girl, it’s my personal opinion that as a woman, you have every right to at least let the seductress know that you’re on to her. Let her know that she no longer has her veil of anonymity that usually fortifies the courage of petty thieves. Once she knows she’s exposed, hopefully she won’t be as bold to flaunt her wares in front of a taken man.

But the question will be, the manner by which you let her know. You can deal with her with class or with crass.

Of course I prefer the option that doesn’t scream tabloid-worthy scandal, so I prefer the classy or quiet way to do it. I know of a friend who was holding her boyfriend’s phone when the "other woman" texted. She simply texted back, "This is his girlfriend, thank you for your concern for him. I will make sure to tell him you texted." I thought it was a "muy classo" way of telling the girl — I know what you’re doing, I’m telling you he’s taken, I’m the rightful partner, and I’d appreciate it if you kept you’re greedy paws off of my man, you mangy b*tch!

But in the end, this is more your boyfriend’s battle than yours. As long as he’s true to his word that he’s loyal, then you have to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust that he is. Unless you discover otherwise, you have to just let it go and tell yourself that one of the perils of having a sweet slice of cake, is that you’d have to deal with multitudes of flies buzzing around for a quick taste. It’s not his fault that women can’t resist his charms, it would only be his fault if he gives in.

So if he keeps his much-coveted junior in his pants, you don’t have anything to worry about and you can walk around with your head held high, and know that your man is hot, but that you’re the only beneficiary of his tender loins.

DELAMAR SAYS… Being a woman myself, I very much understand how you feel. It’s natural and human to feel territorial and threatened by women who make no secret about their sexual feelings and advances towards your boyfriend.

I imagine it must be difficult for you to know this and act like it doesn’t affect you when really it does!

Be that as it may, I have to tell you that confronting these women is hardly the solution to your problem. If anything, it might make them bolder in their attempts knowing that you’re affected and that this could be their way or chance of wedging their way between you and your boyfriend.

Besides, if anything this is not something you take up with them but with your boyfriend. And I think it’s a good sign that he’s very open with you about it. He doesn’t even have a problem with you reading his messages which most probably means that he’s got nothing to hide.

And I agree with him that you SHOULDN’T have texted the other girl pretending to be him. You are just encouraging her to text him more and that wasn’t really your call nor your place to start and exchange with her. You are opening up lines of communication that even he doesn’t want to open. In essence you are opening up the relationship to these troublemakers.

If you really examine this whole problem it is not about your boyfriend’s strong sex appeal and women who are not ashamed of making sexual advances on men who are already taken. This is, at the very core of it, about trust. This is about how much faith you put in your boyfriend and his love for you.

What you’re really questioning is if you can trust him, if you are doing the right thing in trusting him to protect your relationship from women who are out to damage it, if you can trust him to have your interest in mind and not hurt you and if you can trust him not to accept these offers from women even if he might want to just because he loves you.

That is really what this is all about. But what can I say? It’s either you trust him or you don’t. If you don’t, it’s time to ask why. Do you have any reason or is it your paranoia or your insecurities?

There will always be things that will threaten relationships. It’s really how you cope with these difficulties that is the question.

If you ask me, I think your boyfriend is quite open with you about these things and maybe you should be open with your fears with him as well. If anyone, he’s the best one to address the problem not the women coming onto him. Those women only stand to benefit from your relationship breaking up so don’t take this problem up with them. Keep the relationship with your boyfriend solid by being open to each other.

Oh, and another thing, your boyfriend can only do so much reassuring you…. the rest is really up to you. You have to decide whether you want to trust him or not.