Sup calls is actually supervisor calls. It’s actually when calls are escalated to a supervisor when an agent can’t resolve an issue satisfactorily. It’s actually when customers feel they’re fighting for their rights valiantly when they take the issue one step higher.

Only actually, it means more work for the supervisor. And actually, in the supervisor’s absence, his assistant.

Today, actually, that’s me.

And I’ve had two…

"Thank you for calling. This is the supervisor. How may I help you?"

"You can start by sacking that agent of yours," a voice quivering in anger bellowed down the line. "Your agent lied to me! He is a liar! All you Filipinos—your’re all liars!"

"I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but how may I help you?" I returned smoothly though what I really wanted to do is to press on some buttons on the phone non-stop and then scream at her with "And you smelly Amercians only use tissue paper after taking a dump!"

"What’s your name?" she asked suspiciously.

"Mariah," I said—which is farthest from the truth. The only reason I said so is because a Mariah Carey song was suddenly played on the song list in my computer.

"Mariah?!? As in Mariah Carey?" she said even more incredulously.

"Er, yes," I agree. As they say, in this line of work, one has to be agreeable. "Now, how may I help you?"

"Ok, Mariah. I want you to…."

Then he yacked on for five straight minutes.

Which gave me enough time to listen and singalong to Mariah while the mute button is on.

"Are you there?" the voice suddenly said.

"Yes, yes, of course," I said suddenly pressing on the ‘talk’ button. Drats! Why did she have to butt in at that very point. Doesn’t she know it’s the leterrip part where Mariah sings the second chorus in scream-all fashion as if her Afro is on fire.

"And?" the customer demanded.

"And I understand your concerns, have taken note of all of them and will make sure you get what you want," I said. A few seconds later and I put down the phone.

With zero idea what the conversation was about.

Well, no matter…

"Hey, play that song again!" I told the agent near my station.

"Altogether now!" I yelled.

"We belong together!" everyone in the floor responded.

God, don’t you just love audience participation?

Sup call #2:

"Thank you for calling. This is the supervisor. How may I help you?"

"Hello!" Caller has a foreign twang. Vietnamese.

"Er, yes, hello. How may I help you, sir?"

"You! Fix! Bill! You agent! He stupid! He! You! I call the police!" he said incoherently.

"Yes! I! Fix! You Go Back! Vietnam! You! Swangit! Yadidadia! Blahblahblah! Chukchakchienes!" I rebutted in top voice.

Then very coolly, "Anything else, sir?"

"No. Thank you," he said, sounding really pleased. Then before putting down the phone, he said, "Promise?"

"Promise," I said. "Shoo!"

As I walked back to my computer, the agents who heard me gave me a thumbs-up.

Way, way up.

Which only means one thing.

I went to my computer and deleted the recording of that last call. And as I did, I segued the next song.

God, doesn’t the mouse just love it when the cat is away?

Yeah…