I quickly grabbed a tabo, turned on the faucet, and tried to wash it away, down the drain. My plan seemed to be working at first, although I couldn’t shoot it through the slits in the drain.

Suddenly, it seemed to regain its strength and started to crawl toward me! I gasped; I cursed. And although I did not want the clean tabo to get contaminated with germs, I had no choice but to use it to rake the cockroach away. And let me tell you, it was insanely freaky the way I’d push it away, and then it’d come running back, push away, run back, push away, run back. Finally I saw my chance and jumped out of the tub.

Normally, when there’s a cockroach crisis, I call Dad, and he simply whacks it with something, throws it away, cleans up the mess, and then the problem is over.

But unfortunately for me, this night, I was the only one in our house. And I wasn’t the kind who could just whack at a bug, because for me, the only way to make a cockroach more disgusting than it already is is to squash it.

I looked for the bug spray, but as usual, it was not where it was supposed to be. And so I went for plan B, the one which I had often been forced to use.

I got the bottle of alcohol and started squirting it on the insect. Oh sure, we rub it on our hands before eating in a public place, and we use it to clean our wounds. But if someone used a giant hose to spray gallons of it on your face mercilessly, again and again, would you live? Exactly. Besides, what better way to disinfect the filthy thing!

The first squirt was enough to make it go crazy. After a while, it finally lay dead on the floor. Half the victory had been won. Now I had to get it out of there somehow –without touching it, of course.

I looked around for anything I could transport the cockroach with. Used conditioner sachets? Too small. I wanted my hand to be as far away from the creature as possible. The tabo? I already soaped it thoroughly after having to use it earlier, and wasn’t about to defile it again. My brother’s toothbrush? Kidding.

I remembered the words of a man I met while looking into a mini earthworm farm at a fair. He was explaining the stuff to me and my friends, when he took an earthworm from the dirt, held it up to my face, and I let out a little scream. He then asked me why, "… wala namang sungay, wala namang ngipin."

Applying those words to my current situation, I thought, "I don’t care! I am so not touching the darn thing!"

At long last, I found my tool –the toilet bowl cleaner. The brush was wide enough, meaning less chances of the cockroach accidentally falling on me, and it had a long handle, meaning the insect would be a safe distance from my skin.

"Eew, you are one disgusting creature," I said looking at its sprawled legs while scooping it up. And with that, I threw it into the trash can.

I used alcohol and antibacterial soap to disinfect the tub before climbing back in. Boy, was it good feeling to finally wash the stiffening shampoo off my hair.

And oh, just in case you find yourself in a similar situation (who doesn’t?), you reach for the bug spray and… "Okay, who took it this time?" There’s always 70% isopropyl alcohol, not as fast, but it won’t let you down. "Hindi lang pang pamilya, pang ipis pa!"