This refreshingly wholesome film directed by Cathy Garcia Molina and produced by Star Cinema seems to have been produced on time to illustrate in a dramatic way some key concepts contained in the first encyclical of Pope Benedict XVI entitled God Is Love. The different forms of love described above confirm the following words of Pope Benedict XVI: "Let us first of all bring to mind the vast semantic range of the word ‘love:’ We speak of love of country, love of one’s profession, love between friends, love of work, love between parents and children, love between family members, love of neighbour and love of God. Amid this multiplicity of meanings, however, one in particular stands out: Love between man and woman, where body and soul are inseparably joined and human beings glimpse an apparently irresistible promise of happiness. This would seem to be the very epitome of love; all other kinds of love immediately seem to fade in comparison. So we need to ask: Are all these forms of love basically one, so that love, in its many and varied manifestations, is ultimately a single reality, or are we merely using the same word to designate totally different realities?"

The love affair between Marian and Nuel contains part of the answer to the question posed by the Pope. The love that bound the two together since childhood is called philia, or the love of friendship. As friends, they shared many important experiences and interests together. Marian even saved Nuel from drowning when he was a child. The essence of the love of friendship is the mutual sharing of interests, dreams, ambitions, and goals.

As Nuel and Marian discover, however, the love of friendship between a man and a woman can sometimes blossom into eros, the love of attraction. Eros between a man and a woman includes but is not limited to sexual attraction. It includes every feature of the one loved that gives pleasure to the lover, i.e. physical beauty, human and spiritual virtues, specific mannerisms, even idiosyncracies. Of course, because of God’s plan, sex is one of the highest forms of eros. The sexual union is actually so sacred that it is an image of the unity among the three Persons of the Blessed Trinity.

Marian soon discovers that the attraction (eros) she feels for Lance is literally skindeep. She finds out on time that she shares very little in common with this singing idol. Eros remains at the level of physical attraction which must be fully complemented by the love of friendship (philia) if it is to culminate in conjugal love. This is a very important reminder to young lovers (especially adolescents) that not every physical attraction necessarily leads to marriage. A real friendship must be nurtured between prospective marriage partners if the union is going to last until death.

As Pope Benedict XVI wrote: "That Love between man and woman which is neither planned or willed, but somehow imposes itself upon human beings, was called eros by the ancient Greeks. Let us note straight away that the Greek Old Testament uses the word eros only twice, while the New Testament does not use it at all: Of the three Greek words for love – eros, philia (the love of friendship), and agape – New Testament writers prefer the last, which occurs rather infrequently in Greek usage. As for the term philia, the love of friendship, it is used with added depth of meaning in Saint John’s Gospel in order to express the relationship between Jesus and His disciples. The tendency to avoid the word eros, together with the new vision of love expressed through the word agape, clearly point to something new and distinct about the Christian understanding of love. In the critique of Christianity which began with the Enlightenment and grew progressively more radical, this new element was seen as something thoroughly negative. According to Friedrich Nietzsche, Christianity had poisoned eros, which for its part, while not completely succumbing, gradually degenerated into vice. Here the German philosopher was expressing a widely held perception: Doesn’t the Church, with all her commandments and prohibitions, turn to bitterness the most precious thing in life? Doesn’t she blow the whistle just when the joy which is the Creator’s gift offers us a happiness which is itself a certain foretaste of the Divine?"

For baptized Christians, the fullness of married life must combine eros, philia, and agape, self-sacrificing or selfless love. Seeking the good of one’s spouse, even at the cost of one’s life, is the highest form of love. This love can be learned only through and in Jesus Christ who brought agape to this world. A world-renowned film director and actor Roberto Benigni told a young audience in Italy that Jesus is the "inventor of selfless love."

Being the man who could not sin, explained the director and actor of "Life Is Beautiful," Jesus "bore the sins of all."

The man who could not die "died for love of all," said Benigni. "He invented selfless love."

Benigni on Monday was addressing a gathering of young people who filled the Verdi Theater in this city of the patron of lovers, St. Valentine.

Oscar-winner Benigni told his audience that Jesus "has truly stated that He is Love."

Love is for others, "as our happiness depends on their happiness, and this is what Jesus has taught us," explained the actor-director.

Benigni gave young people a piece of advice. "May your steps move the pace of [Jesus’] steps, fix your gaze in His direction."

In the film Close to You, Marian and Nuel realized that they love one another, not only as friends, but as potential husband and wife. For their marriage to be successful, they must build on their eros and philia the lasting bond of agape, which they can achieve if they "move at the pace of Jesus’ steps, fix their gaze in His direction." For comments, my e-mail is bvillegas@uap.edu.ph