* Then there were the guests at the wedding of the oft-married Mr. Tracy. Though they wished the bride and groom well, they took the precaution of postdating the checks.

* Then there was a moron who learned that incest was when you slept with your relatives. So he divorced his wife before making love with her. "Why the big smile?" Henderson asked Churchill when he arrived at the office. "Last night my wife ran off with my best friend." "Really? Do I know the guy?" "No," Churchill replied, "and neither do I." NOW ABOUT DOCTORS: — "Johnny, where have you been?" Dr. Dova screamed when the young man finally answered his phone. "I have bad news and then I have terrible news!" Johnny moaned, "Bad news and terrible news? Good Lord, give me the bad news first." "Well," said the physician, "the bad news is that you’ve only got twenty-four hours to live!" "Ohmigod! Then what could be terrible news possibly be?" The doctor answered quickly. "I’ve been trying to call you since yesterday!"

NOW ABOUT JUDGES: Then there was the old man brought up on charges of sexually molesting a teenager. However, the judge dismissed the case because the evidence wouldn’t stand up in court. Worse was the alleged rapist who stood before the judge and pleaded innocence by reason of insanity. "Insanity?" coughed the judge. "Young man, you seem perfectly normal to me."

"Oh, I am," he admitted. "it’s sex I’m crazy about. Looking down at the defendant, the judge said, "Mr. Riley, I’ve decided to give you a suspended sentence." Tears pouring from his eyes, Riley cried, "Oh, thanks your, Your Honor!" "Don’t thank me," the judge replied, "I’m sentencing you to be hanged.

THIS TIME, ABOUT THE LAWYERS: The pope and an attorney arrived at the Pearly Gates at just the same time, and St. Peter showed them to their quarters. First the pope was taken to his room, a small, spartan cubicle with a chair, a desk, and a Bible. Then the lawyer was shown to his room, a massive duplex with women, wine, and a huge waterbed. "Excuse me," said the lawyer to St. Peter, "there must be some mistake. Shouldn’t the pope have this room?" St. Peter shook his head. "No, We have dozens of popes in heaven, but you’re our first attorney." "Tell me," said the personnel director of a large corporation, "are you an honest attorney?" "Honest?" the lawyer replied. "Let me tell you something. My father lent me ten thousand dollars for my education, and I paid him back in full after my very first case." "I’m impressed,’ he said. "And what case was that?" The attorney squirmed slightly. "He sued me for the money." *Then there was the lawyer who was so smart he never bothered to graduate; he settled out of class. I hope you’ll enjoy those jokes now and then.