DEAR ME
Dear Me,
The turn over of agents in the call center is so rapid that I don’t bother to remember names anymore. What for? Most of them will be gone anyway even before they reach six months (resigned due to health reasons — typical).
What I do instead is to remember people by a feature or peculiarity that strikes me upon introduction. These are my codes. And it could be:
1) Beard. The guy in Station One right now sports one that grows so abundantly and rapidly you fear it would take over his face and the next person’s face. The thing is, it doesn’t even suit him! One day, when I’m in a good mood, I plan to go up to him to say, "I don’t know how you can grow that much hair near your mouth and not have the public health inspector close you down."
2) Hair. Ever heard of that sing-song kids do when they play that goes, "Shaggidy-Shaggidy, Shapo-po?" That’s how I remember the girl in Station Two. Or how about that commercial that goes, "Mahangin ba sa labas?" The thing is, this girl isn’t even curly to begin with. Surely, she dries her hair in the taxi on the way here. Split ends say it all. I intend to gift her with comb on Christmas. If she’s still here, that is.
3) Neon. The girl in Station Three is flashy — literally! She loves wearing clothes that bling-bling. Think fuschia, canary yellow, electric blue, etc. There should be a provision in our health insurance in lieu of persons like her. I fear glaucoma just from looking at her. I totally can relate to Corey Hart: "I wear my sunglasses at night" Worse, she adds to the color conundrum by wearing clothes that shine. Someone clamp her down, now!
4) Nose. I’m sorry but I guess, it’s not his fault. I mean, I’m sure the guy at Station Four didn’t ask for it. Still, you sometimes wish he’d bring a respirator to work. The way things are, he is probably sucking up all the oxygen in this place without meaning to. No wonder the agents are listless.
5) Tight. Has no one told the guy in Station Five that he could do just by wearing tight-fitting shirts? It constricts breathing which could hamper the flow of oxygen to and from the brain. He didn’t get it though when I told him once, "Am I in your last will and testament?" He didn’t say anything. Maybe he couldn’t given what he was wearing. Exactly my point.
6) Chin. Hello, Chin City! He he. Okay, so maybe I’m not exactly thin. Still, I don’t have flab that flutters when the wind blows. Unlike the girl in Station Six. I know, I know. Karma comes quick. But — Hello, Chin City! He he.
7) Colored socks. It’s as bad as no socks. Whoever said color coordination should go that far? When a girl wears colored socks, she’s trendy. But when a guy does, like the one in Station Seven, he merely looks like some court jester. And he’s not even trying to be funny. Off with his head!
8) Teeth. Holy Piranha! Kidding. Ok, maybe I’m not. Again, not her fault. And the girl in Station Eight is doing something about it by wearing braces. Sometimes, though, I want to go up to her and give her friendly advice: "Girl, thou shalt not wear green elastic bands." Unless, of course, she wants people thinking she gives in to craving for adobong kangkong all the time.
9) Ears. Think Dopey. Or Dumbo. Think guy in Station Nine.
10) Eyes. If eyes are windows of the soul, then those of Station Ten are bad feng shui: One looks out into the other. No wonder she’s happy. She must think she gets double pay.
(TO BE CONTINUED)
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