And my son Basti speeds off a la-Dash Waverunner of the Incredibles to do the task. Truth is, at a very young age of three or four, kids are already very eager, willing and happy to do simple tasks. While overprotective parents might think they are abusing their child by asking them to perform chores or tasks at home, doing so is actually good for the child in the long run.

Today’s Children

"Today’s concept of children doing chores depends upon the family’s socio-economic level," begins Professor Lillian Leynes-Juadiong of the UP Family Life and Child Development Center who is also a family and parenting counselor.

"There are the children from the lower socio-economic level who are really pushed into doing chores, not because they are abused by their parents but because that’s the need of the family," she explains. "While in the upper class, the children have their yayas. Most of these children are not expected to do chores because everything is done for them."

Prof. Juadiong says that the balance of children and chores can be seen in middle-class families. "These are the children who are expected to do chores that are suited to their age level," she says. "Although they might have domestic helpers, when domestic helpers are on their day-off or a long vacation, parents see to it that their children are trained to help out in the house."

"Having chores teaches a child to be independent and he grows up to be balanced or one who knows how to play and then work," continues Prof. Juadiong. "It’s really advisable that parents read up on effective parenting and family values, to know what chores are developmentally-appropriate and what are not."

Children and Stress

Before making a task list for your child, though, keep in mind that today’s kids are different, in terms of other and more forms of stress than us parents dealt with when we were kids.

"Today’s kids are stressed-out with school work. They don’t want to go to school anymore," says Prof. Juadiong, remembering cases she has encountered in family counseling. "Look at the picture, in the middle-class family, the child wakes up very early because of the bus service to catch. At 5 AM they are already up because the trip is long."

She continues, "In the afternoon or even at night, they get home late because of the same reason or, if they don’t have a school bus, the traffic is really bad. Then there’s the homework and studying to do."

"So many children want to stop waking up early," she says. "That’s why I think parents should ask their kids to do chores only during weekends or during the summer vacation. Let your kids rest and concentrate on their school work during the week. This way, they won’t despise both school work and household chores."

Getting Kids Started

"As soon as he shows interest in helping out with chores, allow your child to do so," says Prof. Juadiong. "Let them start with folding handkerchiefs while mommy is folding the laundry, or ask them to put the folded clothes in the cabinet."

"The key word is age-appropriate, and the child should be interested," she explains. "Do not ever force a child to work because the child will associate work with something negative, and they will bring that when they grow up. If so, they will not want to do the chore," she cautions.

Prof. Juadiong says that, for younger children, play should be incorporated into chores, such as blowing bubbles while washing the dishes (of course, for younger kids, the parents to do the chores with them).

For older children, empower them by showing how proud you are of them. For example, if your 12-year-old can bake brownies, tell her that this coming Christmas, you will give her brownies away as presents. (In my opinion, this is also early encouragement towards entrepreneurship.)

The Proper Reward and Motivation

"Children should be rewarded because of something that they should be doing. It should be intrinsic or should come from doing the work," says Prof. Juadiong, who is heavily against promising material gifts to kids in order to encourage them to do their chores.

"Children should feel happy because they have accomplished something, not because there’s a reward waiting at the end of the task," she says. "Otherwise, your children might grow up always expecting recognition for the things they do, which should not be the case."

On using threats to motivate a child to do his chore, Prof. Juadiong says it will eventually backfire. "Threats can be associated with negative things. They won’t work. They will do the task because they are afraid of you; not because they are willing."

On bribery, Prof. Juadiong says, "Children won’t learn to appreciate the value of work. Next time when you have no reward to give the child, what happens? The child’s sense of values will be destroyed."

Values Instilled

Prof. Juadiong says that a child who is trained to do household chores will eventually develop the following skills and values: (1) Confidence; (2) Appreciation of work; (3) His own work ethics; (4) Appreciation of the person doing the work; (5) Organization and planning; (6) Dove-tailing or the subtle form of multi-tasking; (7) Helping; (8) Sharing; (9) Showing concern; (10) Cooperation;

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Tips in  training

Prof. Juadiong has these final reminders to parents who want to train their kids on household work:

1. The child’s chores should be developmentally-appropriate.

2. The child’s chores should be something he is interested in.

3. The child’s chores should be associated with pleasant things.

4. Do not reward or promise a reward to your child for doing his chore.

5. Be a good role model. You yourself should love and enjoy performing your own chores.

6. Remember to say, "Thank you."

Chores  for every age

For 3 to 4-year olds

Running errands like getting papa’s slippers, giving mommy the newspaper

"They learn to follow directions and start feeling confident about themselves."

For 5 to 6-year olds

Running errands and answering phone calls

"They can now be trained to dial emergency numbers and teach safety precautions about talking to strangers on the phone, which calls to entertain, etc."

For 7 to 8-year olds

Buying from stores within the subdivision, bringing something to the neighbor, cleaning the sink

"They can start helping out with simple household chores, but don’t leave then unsupervised yet."

For 9 to 10-year olds

Washing the dishes, helping clean the house, weeding the garden

"It is now advisable to make a chart of daily chores that they can check everyday. Never use stars; they are not good in training your kids to love what they do."

For 11 to 12-year olds

Helping younger kids such as tutoring, reading to them

"Along with their parsonal care chores such as making their beds and preparing their things everyday, they can now care for and train the younger children."