Shyamalan then took it to Warner Bros. who bankrolled it, and they must be regretting it now. Viewers have come to expect that big surprise twist in his films and they’ll be so disappointed when they watch this one as there is none. What he offers is a fairy tale that strains credibility. It starts with an illustrated prologue saying that man has lost connection with other creatures because he does not know how to listen attentively. Then the film opens in a Philadelphia apartment complex where the resident handyman is Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti, who ought to have been nominated in the Oscars for "Sideways" but was ignored.) From his own cottage, he notices that someone uses the swimming pool in the complex at night and this is against the rules.

The intruder turns out to be a Narf, a sea nymph from the Blue World who actually looks like an ordinary human. She says her name is Story (Bryce Dallas Howard, the blind girl in "The Village") and she needs help to save her from the Scrunt, a ferocious beast that looks more like a wild boar. Its mission is to attack her before she can be rescued by an eagle that will return her to her home. She thinks Cleveland, a stuttering emotionally wounded man who lost his family tragically, is her guardian who’ll protect her from the Scrunt. The guardian needs the help of several other tenants who are supposed to perform various tasks.

The assorted residents in the apartment complex look like they’re representatives of the United Nations. A Korean college girl, Young Soon (Cindy Cheung), has a mom who doesn’t speak English but is well versed about Narfs and explains to Cleveland what should be done. There’s a brother and sister from India, with the brother played by Shyamalan himself who has an even longer role here than the one he played in "Signs". Looks like he really wants to be an actor but sorry, he gives an unimpressive performance here as a frustrated writer. Talk about self-indulgence.

It becomes Cleveland’s task to figure out who are the tenants meant to perform specific assignments. Is Mrs. Bell (Mary Beth Hurt), who loves animals, the Healer who will cure the wounds of Story after she gets attacked by the Scrunt? Is Mr. Dury (Jeffrey Wright of "Syriana"), a father who is an expert in solving crossword puzzles, the Interpreter of Signs? And what will be the role of the other characters, like the family of fat Hispanic girls, the eccentric intellectual Mr. Leeds (Bill Irwin), and the bodybuilder Reggie (Freddy Rodriguez of "Six Feet Under") who lifts weight using only one side of his body so that his right side is buff while the other one looks puny?

But the most innocuous creation of Shyamalan in the movie is Mr. Farber (Bob Balaban), a film and book critic who just moved in and says in a deadpan manner: "There’s no originality left in this world." This could very well apply to Shyamalan’s work here as it seems to be just an aggregation of ideas he borrowed from other films like "Wizard of Oz", "Splash", "Never Ending Story", "Rear Window", "E.T.", etc. The arrogant critic character, who keeps on discussing the usual cliches and conventions in cinema, was apparently included to take revenge against critics who panned his recent past works (notably, "The Village") and also his way to make himself immune from whatever negative criticism "Lady in the Water" will receive. Talk about self-exoneration.

The astonishing thing about the tenants is that when Cleveland goes to them with his story about the narf and the scrunt, all of them buy it and believe him right away. It’s as if something unbelievable like that happens in their apartment complex all the time. Nothing, of course, can be more stupid since the film lacks that magical quality needed to make it look believable as a modern fairy tale. For one thing, we can’t understand why the Narf, a creature of water, is rescued by an eagle, a creature of air.

In fairness to Paul Giamatti, he gives an earnest performance in his role as the organizer of the rescue team. But Bryce doesn’t really have much to do as the Narf except give a scared or a vacant look. Oddly, it’s the Korean actress Cheung who lightens up the proceedings when she goes yakking away in her broken English that can offend other Asians in the U.S. who speak more sensibly than her.

Those who’d see this thinking they’d be scared will surely be disappointed. If you want more effective jolts, go see "Sukob" instead. Its story doesn’t make much sense ("Feng Shui" has a much more sensible narrative), but Director Chito Rono is so successful in manipulating the viewer’s reactions in some shocking boo moments. The lack of similar genuine thrills or scares in "Lady in the Water" makes Shyamalan’s work quite inferior. If Shyamalan’s next work would be as dismal as this, then his reputation as a hitmaker is definitely kaput.