As a finally bonafide and relieved-to-be college student — not that college is easy, but I know the uncertainty and pressure of trying to get into a good school (I couldn’t help feeling like an almost hopeless sperm), let me give you some advice, aside from the usual review tips, bring snacks, at least two sharpened pencils, and come at least 30 minutes before time — which is nonsense, by the way.

The earlier you come, the longer you get to stand in line and torture your poor feet (at some colleges, they don’t even start on time). It’s better to visit the place at least a day before the exam to orient yourself, double check everything, and then just come on time on the day itself.

And to all the girls out there, never ever come in heels. I made this mistake once, thinking I’d be taking the exam sitting down anyway, completely forgetting about the part wherein I’d have to stand in line for more than an hour.

Kids these days are always asking the question, "Ano ba ang passing score?" when it comes to taking entrance exams. What most of them don’t realize, though I think it’s pretty obvious, is that there is no such specific mark. It’s all about outdoing the others. Like if you get a grade of, say 85 (or its equivalent), it means that you outdid 15% of the other applicants, regardless of how many answers you actually got right.

In short, the score you get is relative. And with such a system, it’s a lot harder to stand out. Just imagine having to outdo tens of thousands of high school seniors, including the super brains from schools like Philippine Science and the like.

Take for example the UPCAT. Reportedly about 70,000 students took the exam this year, but roughly only about 6,000 are actually going to make the cut. And out of the 70,000, I’m sure there were a lot more than 6,000 intelligent kids.

Brains alone won’t get you there. And for some people, giving their all didn’t work either. So if you were one of those who kept harping about getting into UP but prepared in a rather mediocre way, pinoy style, well, I never mean to extinguish anyone’s hope, but the statistics speak for themselves. That, my friends, is reality.

As a disillusioned girl, whose UPCAT scores weren’t high enough to get me into UP Diliman, I know. But since I was desperate, I tried getting into UP through the College of Music by taking the Music Theory exam, and when I passed that, I auditioned, again having to assert myself among hundreds of virtuosos from the best artsoriented schools in the country.

I, on the other hand, didn’t even have any formal music training. Just on-and-off piano lessons, mostly self-study when I was feeling inspired, and simple vocalization.

But as the previous failure taught me, this time kinarir ko na talaga, no compromises whatsoever — even if I had to learn to sight read notes from scratch, practice like hell, read up on music theory, and write an on-the-spot 700 word essay on a topic I initially didn’t really believe in (‘What is the importance of music education to the youth?’ And I was like, "Er, you mean to say it’s important?").

As impossible as it seemed at the moment, I was able to fully convince myself about the question given and fill up my paper ‘til the last space. I did my best in everything else and to cut the long story short, I got in.

I found out later that my UPCAT scores weren’t that bad. I just barely missed the cut-off for Diliman, and could’ve gotten into the other campuses had I applied. And I guess I needed that affirmation since I was starting to feel like a dumb blonde.

The bottom line is, nowadays the competition is tougher than you’d like to believe or imagine. There are thousands of people out there who are smarter and more talented than you are. You slack off even just a bit, you miss the mark just a bit. And it doesn’t matter by how much you’re found lacking. You either make it or you don’t.

While writing that 700 word essay that would largely determine whether I’d go to UP or to some other college I did not currently know of, I was unfortunate enough to be seated next to a girl who just wouldn’t stop talking. And to make things worse, we were given a very lenient proctor, who would even humor her.

Having just come back from her interview (we were being called out of the room one by one), she found it necessary to tell some of our seatmates all about it, adding, "If you speak to them in English, they will credit you."

In my head I was like, "We can all speak the language. Shut up."

But she went on and on, literally nonstop, and her voice was so loud. She read some passages from the essay she was writing, probably to show off her brilliance, something that went like "The beauty of art is in the…" and I can’t even remember the rest of her clichéd statement.

She complained endlessly about why the essay had to be so long, "Isn’t it better to be concise and direct to the point than to ramble on and on about nonsense? I really don’t see the point, and my handwriting is so small, blah, blah, blah…"

I had to muster all my self-control to keep from actually spouting all the sarcastic remarks spinning in my head. I couldn’t even politely ask her to keep quiet since I had a feeling even this would offend her, and I didn’t want to add to the tension in the air. So I had to make do with the very exciting scenario of answering the blabber-mouth in my head.

"Honey, believe me, I don’t want to be writing this essay either. And yes, I also think the length is very unreasonable for such a simple question. This is needless torture. If only I were in the position, I’d do something about this unfair treatment, challenge them at least. But I’m not. In fact, we’re all nobodies begging for a very limited number of slots. We’re actually at this faculty’s mercy. And even if they ask us to do something ridiculous like belly dance, we’ll just have to. That’s just the way things are. And you can debate the panel behind their backs all you want, but you can’t change anything."

I tried prayer, "Dear Lord, please make her shut up, shut up, shut up!"

To cut the long story short, she never stopped talking ‘til she was done writing. And as she stood up from her chair, she proudly showed off her paper, obviously lacking a few more hundred words, as if to say she wasn’t adhering to such stupid measures. That was the last time I saw her.

The thing is, whatever you’re asked to do, or whatever the conditions are, that’s the status quo. Wouldn’t it be better to roll with the punches like a good sport rather than make an immature baby of yourself by opening your mouth to whine? It doesn’t matter if you’re complaining about required essay length, standing in line, delayed schedules, and all the other inconveniences that come with college entrance exams in a third world country like the Philippines. That, my friends, is also reality.

In doing so, you just make the atmosphere more unpleasant for all the other examinees around you who are exerting so much effort to lengthen their patience. Especially when it comes to the written portion, keep in mind that people are trying to get into college, and that this may be their only shot left. And perhaps you’ll also have a better chance of getting accepted if you quit your fruitless whining and tried working your brain.

This is so people won’t talk about you behind your back later on. Last school year, I was hanging with some of my batch mates on a lazy afternoon, talking about the upcoming Music Theory exam the next day, reminiscing the time we ourselves were taking it.

My friend Dru, a percussion major, recalled a group of loud guys he was unfortunate to sit next to during the exam, saying things like, "Pare, ang dali-dali naman nito!"

He ended his story with, "Pero hindi ko sila nakikita dito," to which we all laughed. You see, our college’s relatively small size makes it possible for everybody to know everybody, and if a certain person did not get in from last year’s auditions.

I shared about the show-off girl who sat next to me while we were writing our entrance essays, adding naughtily afterwards, "Hindi ko rin siya nakikita dito." Again, this cracked the others up.

People are usually nice enough not to laugh at others’ failures. And most of those who succeed are just so relieved and thankful that they made it and wouldn’t dare scoff at those who didn’t. However, if you breeze into the room annoying everybody with your I’m-so-sure-I’m-gonna-get-in-pare attitude, or spouting your words of ‘brilliance’ when you really don’t have to and you don’t get accepted, well, let’s just say talking and smiling about such people is a satisfying form of amusement — however wrong it may be. It’s inevitable… and it’s just so funny!

It’s okay to hope and by all means, Believe. But it’s always best to modestly keep your surplus confidence to yourself lest you want to be remembered in the wrong way.

So study hard, roll with the punches, keep a low profile, and please, please don’t forget to use your EQ; you’re going to need it just as much as you will your brains.

That being said, I wish all you high school seniors nothing but the best! And keep in mind that this sperm stage won’t last forever. You’ll have found your niche in no time.