The past twenty years have brought dramatic changes in the typical family set up.  Over this period, the overall female employment rate rose by more than 50 percent. In the U.S., divorce rate doubled in the working-wife families, when there is an approximate increase of 16 percent in women having affairs in this group over the homemaker families.  This not only affects the home of the working mother, but that of the homemaker whose husband participated in the affair with her.  It can have long-reaching negative effects. In the Philippines this happens mostly to OFW families – it’s disheartening!  What about the children of the working mother?  If they are not taken care of by relatives of the family, for those who can afford, they’re left with nannies.  The life of a working mom is never easy and most of us would never feel good about leaving our precious angels under the care of strangers but there is a way to go around this and make it work.   I know that during the most important time in a child's life, when the foundation of his personality, morals and attitudes are laid that he will build off on the rest of his life, we cannot just give him to a complete stranger to mold.  That is why whenever possible we leave our kids either with yayas who have been with us for years or under the supervision of relatives.  The important thing is to see to it that on working mom’s free time, she establishes that even if there is yaya or grandpa or ma in the home, when mom’s there, she will take care of the kids, she will spend quality time with them and that she is still the authority.   

Working parents have a different image to their children than parents who do not work.  When considering these modifications to the family dynamics, there is considerable basis for proof that the positive effects outweigh the negative effects experienced by offspring in families were both parents are employed. The working parent occupies an important exemplary role within the family. Working parents often command considerable respect from their children, because they demonstrate the worthy characteristics of industriousness, social compatibility, self reliance, maturity, intelligence and responsibility. Because children identify with their parents, the feedback from such positive influences tends to be positive as well because many of these positive characteristics are imparted upon them. A child who observes the competent coping abilities of a working parent learns in turn, how to cope with life’s problems. ability to be socially compatible. As the child grows, it can further render a child more emotionally mature and hence more competent in dealing with responsibility and task completion such as is needed for school work and extra curricular activities.  Many cultures worldwide realize that a child’s nurturing can be acquired from a variety of sources including both adults and older children. Children can be as comfortable with grandparents, neighbors, yayas as they are with their own mothers. In fact, a variety of sources for nurturing not only provide the child with a variety of role models, such as in the case of grandparents. My Keoni and my Dad who I live with are best buddies! 

Working moms whether in or out of the homes are in a good position to prepare their children for that type of lifestyle. Healthy family dynamics including team work, sharing, and responsibility, are more easily adopted when they are already familiar. As far as quality of parenting, it has been observed that women who are highly satisfied with their roles whether they work or not, display higher levels of warmth and acceptance than do dissatisfied mothers and these positive feelings are reflected in their relationships with their siblings.

Finally, when considering quantity of time spent on parenting when both parents work, it has been concluded that there is no consistent evidence of deprivation felt by children of employed mother’s. In fact, mothers who were better educated and employed outside the home spent more time with their children even at the expense of their own leisure and sleep time.  It was found that while working mothers spent less time with their children, the time spent with them was more likely to be in direct contact with them. Mothers who are at home full time spend only 5% of their time in direct interaction with their children. Employed mothers spend about the same time reading to, playing with and otherwise paying attention to their children as do mothers who stay at home. Because society has changed, the family’s function within society has changed as well. Parental roles have been modified to meet these changes. Today, the family’s most important task is to provide emotional security in a vast and impersonal world. So whether you’re a home maker or a working mom outside the home, you could still be a good mom at the same time.  Yes, it is possible and moms, please note that in both of these tasks there is much to value and treasure.