That’s the total number of sites available when we searched for "buying gadgets tips" in the Internet for an article in this issue of the Digital Generation.

Our editor (part-time geek, part-time lover) wanted us to write about tips on buying gadgets for this ish, and since we’re no geek (part-time lover, yes), we did what any self-respecting, serious writer would do.

We surfed the Internet.

So, are we happy with the windfall of results? Nah.

This discovery only made us more livid and determined not to waver in our stand that technology is a bane to mankind, instead of a big help like what techno geeks would insist, equally livid.

For one, this goes to show that techno geeks are growing in numbers faster than the small and furry spawns of a rabbits farm (rabbits, great lovers).

We visited some of the sites and, two, found out that techno geeks get only geekier each day. Scary.

We, the righteously normal, strongly adhere to the law of men that states the alphabet should be used only to create words and the numbers to add, subtract, multiply and divide, are a dwindling lot while the geeks speak the combined letters and numbers easy to describe the latest gadgets.

So, the geeks shall inherit the earth? Not in our watch, hah!

Anyways, we surfed and surfed and, after a few hundreds, picked one with the following tips on how to buy gadgets (yeah, like we’re really gonna’ follow it, geeko!).

And so, according to one guy who probably has no social life as a result of an unforgettable pre-school incident involving a hapless chair, a pair of shorts and an uncontrollable bladder, here are some surefire (burn in hades, geekos!) tips in buying gadgets.

1. Top brands have established a reputation for themselves that they are going to strive to maintain. As a result, a well-known company is not likely to endorse a product with their name unless they can stand by the workmanship and performance of that product. The success of the brand supplier depends on how consumers view products with their name and you can bet that the company is not going to put their name on a product that they are not proud of.

You think so? Well, think again, bright boy!

Big-time consumer electronic companies, we strongly suspect, have a traitor of our kind in their midst. This traitor allows these CECs to connect wires on his head, read his thoughts and keep tab on mankind’s never-ending desire for everything that is new.

Who cares if we don’t need them. If they’re in the market, we’ll buy them. If others have them, we’re gonna have them, too.

And if we get an opportunity to buy them first, then hell hath no fury like a crazed buyer.

2. When choosing the latest gadgets you need to make sure that you have a little insurance should something go wrong. Make sure that the return and repair policies of your gadget make you comfortable enough to invest in the purchase. There should always be some kind of guarantee on the workmanship of the product that you are buying and you may want to consider buying a warranty if you have a history of breaking or loosing your gadgets.

Hahaha, what a putz you are if you believe this one.

Hello? Here’s a happy fact.

The first thing a person loses when he starts using a newly-purchased gadget is (ta-dah!) the warranty card.

We know of some people who would keep the receipts, the fancy packaging, the wraps and even the shopping bag that brought the gadget home.

Then they go like this: Hmnn, what’s this? A warranty card? Hmnn, okay. (then throw them away).

Oh, and by the way, why bother for the warranty? Haven’t these geeks heard of the line "if it’s from Seiko, it must be good."

3. Keep in mind that some gadgets require other types of gadgets to work. And that could mean that you could be stuck spending much more than you originally anticipated. Take the Bluetooth headset for example. Bluetooth technology is very popular right now because of the added convenience that hands free operation gives. Bluetooth technology is known for its excellent reception and for the added safety that the hands free device gives while one is driving. However, Bluetooth technology does not work on every phone. You have to have a Bluetooth capable phone or PDA in order for the headset to work. Most gadget accessories need parent gadgets to work properly.

"…you could be stuck spending much more than you originally anticipated." Exactly our point, genius!

You geeks claim that technology simplified life, made things easier for mankind with just a gadget the size of a deck of playing cards.

Okay, try buying a mobile phone, for example. A smartphone is no good without a Bluetooth. A WiFi, an MP3, a camera, and…oh, we can go on all night.

Nowadays, a gadget is NOT a gadget without another gadget, and another, and another.

Hey, anything that makes you happy. And the CECs happier.

4. Service plans and gadgets often go hand in hand. Chances are that if you are going to buy a wireless gadget you are going to also need a compatible service plan. Gadgets such as the Smartphone combine the conveniences of a phone and a PDA, but keep in mind that not only will you need a service provider for the phone, but you will also need to choose a provider that can also support the phone’s internet capabilities.

And the CECs get richer.

5. Although there are a lot of truly amazing gadgets on the market, chances are that you are not going to need all of them. When you choose your gadgets keep in mind that they might not be all that different from the previous model. Companies have motivation to create bigger and better products but the truth is that the newest model of a gadget on the market is not always significantly better than the previous edition. If you are not in a position where you need the newest product, use good judgment and choose those gadgets with personal applicability.

6. The latest gadgets have not had the time in circulation needed to discover any faults. A product needs some time in the hands of the population. After some time the defects of the product are revealed and fixed. The cost of the gadget goes down right along side the hype. Improvements are made and later shipments of the latest gadgets are often the tried and true product. Take the Nintendo Wii for example. When the Wii first came out there were problems with the remote flying out of people’s hands and destroying television sets. Nintendo evaluated the situation and came up with a solution that made the product more enjoyable (and less dangerous). Allow some time, even if it is just a week or two, to see how the latest gadget is doing before choosing a gadget for your own personal use.

With all you geeks strutting and prancing around us with the latest gadgets, and cluttering the Net with your babbles on how great this one, and oh, that one’s better, why not feel free to save all the fathers in the world aching to say "no" to a whimpering kiddo.

Is it the waters we drink, or the air we breathe, that kids nowadays believe they have the constitutional rights to ask, and be given the latest gadgets modeled by models on TV and magazines?

We bet, it’s the electromagnetic waves from these gadgets that make our children behave like kids from hades.

Okay, okay. This article should be about tips on buying gadgets.

Here’s our tip: Go to Greenhills.