As demonstrated by the Clinton scandal of 1998, even definitions of in-person sex are unclear, so remote infidelity as mediated by technology is yet more ambiguous. Semantic parsing aside, most people would probably agree that flirtation becomes infidelity when someone in a committed, monogamous relationship has erotic physical contact with someone other than his or her mate. Yet the throb of extra-marital attraction beats on - over the cyber waves, with or without definition. The beginnings of cyber-affairs on the Internet can be compared to what happens over backyard fences, at local pubs, and in health clubs, and while not physical, certainly ban become very emotionally distracting from committed relationships offline. Attempts at definition range from those who claim there are different levels of infidelity, with live video interactions being more closely problematic than an email lover, to those who claim that having an affair, including cyber-sex, with an unseen lover doesn’t count.

Essential questions appear more rapidly than their answers. Does propositioning someone online for cybersex count as emotional infidelity? If you enter a chat room, engage with a few people, and masturbate yourself to orgasm, are you cheating on your spouse? Does calling that person on the telephone and bringing each other to mutual orgasm count as infidelity? If not, what are you doing? Would you be comfortable seeking that answer when you shake hands with your Pastor at Sunday service or your parish priest stops in for dinner this weekend?

Technology is clearly escaping our ability to use traditional values to formulate answers, while dragging our hearts and souls behind. On the other hand, you cannot legally prove adultery unless there is actual sex.

Nonetheless, many other questions remain. Has technology simply created an opportunity for those who do not have the courage to have a "real" affair? What percentage of people goes to the "next level"? What are the personality characteristics of those individuals who have cyber-affairs when compared to those who have offline affairs?

Obviously, an official definition of infidelity via cyberspace is not yet formulated. Nonetheless, there seems to be agreement that cyber-affairs are damaging to the core issues of trust and integrity in a relationship. Cyber-affairs involve fantasy, secrecy, preoccupation and a high sexual charge, paired with denial and rationalization

When people accept responsibility for loving and being loved, they understand the power of completely exposing themselves to their loved one. When individuals have the courage to take that ultimate risk of exposure and still manage to receive a whole-hearted loving response from their partner, fantasy sex online only pales in comparison.

Let’s now trace how such things evolved by looking at the nature of cyber affairs

Cyber-affairs can range from direct sexual encounters within minutes of meeting, to years of romance and courtship. Anything goes.

It seems common that people online find it is a lot easier to ask and answer blatantly direct questions, without the fear that someone’s jaw will drop, eyebrows will raise, or that they will be slapped.

Consequences for asking deep personal questions and discussing deeply personal sexual practices are minimal on the Internet. There is minimal threat to physical safety, embarrassment, or public humiliation. Fantasy is often used to fill in the gaps and keep the activity focused on a variety of goals - from flirtation to orgasm.

Online foreplay can often be minimal. The very nature of some online environments are sexual, implying a moral tradition that makes it seem normal and thereby acceptable.

Most dating and sex related areas announce their interest overtly.