He was "Mother" also because it was the generic term that gay people bestow upon women.

But through the years, Ricky Reyes, the country’s most successful hairdresser, has given a whole new face to the word "Mother" — a boss to his thousands of employees, an icon to young gays, a benefactor to children with cancer at PGH’s Munting Paraiso and ChildHAUS, a good friend. Why, even Presidents Fidel V. Ramos and Gloria Macapagal Arroyo unabashedly call him Mother!

From being a parlor sweeper who earned meager pesos to send all his siblings to school, Ricky Reyes today is an inspiration, a symbol of success earned through hard work and determination. He wields his comb and scissors, weaving magic not just to make people beautiful but to inspire them to become better human beings.

Here, in 60 Minutes, Ricky Reyes tells how it is to hurdle poverty, to grow up gay and poor; how important it is to be educated, and most of all, how it is to live up and be worthy to be called "Mother." (Ivy Mendoza)

STUDENTS AND CAMPUSES BULLETIN: With a house like this and a successful business, you seem to have everything. How did all these happen when we all know that you came from nothing?

RICKY REYES (RR): I worked very very hard. Para sa’kin, ‘yung araw hindi kumpleto kung wala akong sasabihing I’ve done something big for the day. I’m a day person. I make it a point that all the time of my days is filled up with so many things to do. I introduce people to other people. I make my day very, very productive.

SCB: Why are you so driven and hard working?

RR: I enjoy what I do. This is my life. I always tell a lot of people that I’m very very lucky. I work very hard, I get rewarded well for my work. For that alone I’m very very thankful because there are a lot of people who work but they don’t like what they do. There are people who work but they don’t get paid well. There are people who get paid well but they don’t like what they do. Here I am, I love my work and it’s giving me so much in life. What more can you ask for? That’s the reason why I immediately return it back to the society because it’s the society that gives everything to me. So ibinabalik ko kaagad. Dumadating ‘yung times, when I see my financial statement for the day, I get shocked. Why is God so good, I ask myself. So I think of some ways to return it to Him, to the Lord that gives all to us .

SCB: What’s your usual day like?

RR: I wake up early, at 5:30 a.m. Then I join the house personnel to make ikot ikot in the garden. Kung hindi ko gusto ‘yung halaman, lipat yan o tanggalin. Tapos ‘pag pasok sa bahay, I join the boys to clean the house. Siyempre, alam mo kung ‘san mo siya gusto o saan siya tama. After that, I read seven newspapers a day, have breakfast, then go to the office, do paper work, go out for breakfast meetings. I visit at least four or five salons in one afternoon.

I always make it a point to see the ground because I always have meetings with my managers once a week. And I don’t believe in what people say to me, I only believe in what I see. I make it a point to see all the shops and see how my people work. ‘Pagka may ginagawa sila, let’s say isang treatment, alam ko kapag mali, I’ll call all the people who are doing the same treatment for a meeting for them not to commit mistakes. When I say procedures one to 10, do it one to 10, don’t skip a bit or a number in the procedure because all of them are interrelated. I’m very hands-on.

SCB: You have about 45 shops, all your own and no franchises?

RR: Yes and we’re all in the malls as far as Cebu, Iloilo, Baguio. I don’t put salons in the neighborhood kasi I don’t want to kill the small hairdressers. I’m their president, here I am teaching them new things, telling them what to do, giving them new products, new equipment tapos pupwesto pa ako malapit sa kanila, eh di kinain ko na ‘yung kakainin nila di ba.

SCB: Have you always been this positive in life?

RR: I already had so much troubles and pains in my life! Sabi ko nga, I read seven newspapers a day and all of them are negative, on the front page. Only Bulletin is positive. (laughs) I see all the headlines, I’m not the kind of person who will curse the government, curse the President, curse the Secretary, and ask why you’re not doing anything? What I do is I think of how I could contribute to the solution of these problems in my own little ways.

A government can’t run all 90 million Filipinos. For every Filipino to blame the government for your misfortune, malaking kagagahan yan. We’re in charge of ourselves and we should not blame anyone of the misfortunes that come to us. It is our own doing.

Growing up poor and gay

SCB: How was it for you growing up?

RR: Hard. It’s hard because I was a mother and a father at 15 years old, taking care of my mother, taking care of my six younger brothers and sisters. I’m the eldest in the second marriage of my mother. I told myself, mahirap ang mahirap. Para manatili kang mahirap, isang kagagahan ‘yun. Hindi mo dapat gawin sa sarili mo ‘yun.

kilong tocino, unti-unting pi-prituhin. Hindi naman lahat ng employer generous. Unti-unti, puputulin mo ‘yung tocino para ipiprito mo, ulam mo sa agahan, tanghalian, hapunan tapos bibigyan kami ng isang bowl ginisang monggo, apat, lima kami. I don’t blame them, that’s the way they run their business.

I’m very independent. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. Ayokong kargo ako. Like I go to the provinces and meet all the hairdressers, they’re all very excited to see me, they will ask me, ‘Mother what do you like to eat? Maghahanda kami’. No, sabi ko, don’t bother, pwede ako kumain kahit saan, okay na ako.

SCB: Did you try working for other people?

RR: Yes I did. For four years. But at 15, I was already working and sending my brothers and sisters to school. Nagsimula ako as a floor sweeper sa salon kasi nga I can’t go to school to learn hairdressing so namasukan ako sa isang small salon, sweeper ako. But while sweeping, I was looking at what they’re doing. Pinag-aaralan ko lahat ng ginagawa nila until I became better. After that, three years and a half, nagtatrabaho ako, ako ‘yung star of the salon. Nakaipon ako ng P1,000. In 1969, I told myself, I’m okay because ako na ‘yung hinahabol ng lahat ng kliyente, lahat nakapila sa’kin. P1,000 in 1969 was already big money.

SCB: Paano kayo nag-aaral?

RR: I went to school, sa FEU, habang nagtratrabaho, for one sem, 12 units kasi apat lang ‘yung subject ko, hindi pwedeng matagal I have to be back in the shop. So I went to school at seven then matatapos siya ng nine babalik ako sa shop sa Project 8, by 9:30 I’m in the shop, working already. I always wanted to become a doctor, the only popular course in the ‘50s but I had to work.

SCB: When did you finally go on your own?

RR: Nung 19 ako. I told my mother, I think I’m ready. Mayroon na akong capital na P1.000, madami nang nagpa-pirate sa akin, mga customers ko gustong magsosyo daw kami. Sabi ko, I’ll do it for myself. Nagtayo ako ng small shop, kami ng nanay ko, naghanap kami ng pwesto sa palengke ng San Juan. Mayroong sanitary laundry ‘yung kumare ng nanay ko so we just rented a one part. After a year, binayaran ko na rin ‘yung rights ng laundry until the rest of the space became the Ricky Reyes Salon.

SCB: The very first one?

RR: Yes, sa tabi ng palengke. Tapos na sha-shock ‘yung mga tao sa San Juan kasi ang mg customers ko mga working girls at tsaka mga mayayaman sa Project 8. Naku, tabi ng palengke, mga nakaparada, Impala, magagandang sasakyan. Nagtatanong sila, sino yang mga taong yan, nagpupuntahan sa akin? But people got curious and they started going to me. Then work and work and work until umabot ‘yung 1979, napagtapos ko lahat ng kapatid ko. They all finished college, they went to the States for them to start on their own.

SCB: Mother, do you regret not having finished your schooling?

RR: No. I had a very good school, the school of hard knocks, the school of life. Lagi kong sinasabi na it’s a lot better to be smart than to be intelligent. I became very, very smart. I learned life very easily. Dumating ‘yung panahon ‘nung pinapaaral ko ‘yung mga kapatid ko, ‘yung gupit noon, tatlong piso, apat na piso. Maghapon ka nagta-trabaho, tapos lahat sagot mo, pakain mo, padamit mo, pa-school mo, pabaon mo. Inisip ko one time, mamundok na lang kaya ako at takasan ko sila, dumating ako sa point na ‘yun, narindi na ako pero sabi ko, mga kapatid ko ‘to, so kawawa naman sila, I did not do it.

SCB: Was it difficult growing up as a child because you’re gay?

RR: No, because my mother was very supportive of me. Bata pa lang ako alam kong girl na ako. At 10 years old alam ko na na girl ako, kasi ang crush ko ‘yung kalaro kong boy. (laughs) Kasi kapag naaalala ko siya, nakikita ko nagi-school bus siya pagkalabas niya, kunwari tumatakbo ako para mabunggo siya. dadaan ako sa likod ng bahay niya, titignan ko ‘yung damit niyang nakasampay (laughs)

SCB: But before, how hard was it being gay?

RR: It was a no no. Very hard. I have three older half brothers, all gwapo, mga gang leaders, yung Viva Zapata Gang. And here I was, kapatid na bata sumunod sa kanila is a girl. Talagang lahat ng bugbog inabot ko. Naranasan ko kung paano ikulong sa kulungan ng manok, lalagyan ng apoy sa ilalim. Ibibitin patiwarik. Naranasan ko kung ‘yung walis tingting dumapo sa katawan ko pagkatapos durog na. Now, I appreciate my brothers so much. Now, nakita ko na mahal na mahal nila ako ayaw nilang bading ako.

SCB: Did you take it against you half brothers?

RR: When you’re young, you’ll take it against them. But you’ll come to realize that they meant well. I’m happy I went through all of those things. Even my own father disowned me, we had a big fight. Now I come to appreciate everything.

I would like to say thank you to them because they made me what I am now, thank you to my father whom I hated so much before. There was this line that I don’t forget. Sabi ng tatay ko, lalambot-lambot daw ako pero dumating ‘yung point ako pala ‘yung matigas because I didn’t even talk to him until the day that he died. When he was dying he said, si Ricky lang ang pinaka matigas kong anak siya lang ‘yung hindi dumadating. He was dying then. Ako, in-ostracize niya kasi lalambot-lambot daw ako.

SCB: Mother, paano po kayo main-love?

RR: Kapag ako na in-love, love talaga, mahal ko ‘yung tao…

SCB: Like to what extent?

RR: Depende, you have to look at it on a bigger scope. Kasi ang pagmamahal ay ‘yung adorno, ‘yung pagtatagal relasyon. Pero you have to think of what do you want in a relationship. Like me, I wanted a family, so naka focus ako dun sa pamilya because probably that’s the one thing you never had. I wanted my own family, I have my partner, I have adopted kids.

SCB: Ilang years na kayo ng partner mo?

RR: Thirty-two years with not even a single time of quarreling…

SCB: What’s the secret?

RR: It’s hard work. I always tell that to a lot of women because there are so many women in this country that don’t even know how to be women for their husband. For me, I’m still old school. Hindi ako asawang moderno…

SCB: Submissive ka Mother?

RR: Very submissive. This is the home that you should go to. This is the house where you should have your dinner. This is the house where you could say that I can sleep well because the sheets are clean and this is the house where my clothes are fixed. If you want to be a wife, you have to act like one, you have to be submissive. Otherwise, if you are a liberated wife, chances are, you’ll lose your husband.

SCB: Pero innate na sa kanila mambabae?

RR: Kapag ang lalaki tumigil mambabae, isa lang ibig sabihin niyan – patay na siya! (laughs) I always say that women are always at the losing end. Talagang ganun ‘yun, you have to accept your role, you know dapat kung hanggang saan ka lang. Ang asawang babae alam mo kung hanggang saan ka lang din sa asawa mo, alam mo na dadating ang oras na magloloko ang asawa mo and you have to take it with a grain of salt. Ganun lang ‘yun dahil sabi nga ng iba, hindi naman pwede palagi adobo, kailangan minsan tuyo, pinakbet as long as you know that you are the family. As long as you are secure that your husband is still your husband. As long as you’re secure that whether if there are five women outside, these women know what station they should go down. Hindi lahat ng istasyon kasama sila.

No dole-outs please

SCB: Why did you decide to venture into education?

RR: I started the Ricky Reyes Learning Institute 14 years ago. A lot of people were persuading me not to do it because I would just be building competitors. But I know that someday I will retire. I’ll be more than happy that the future hairdressers would be a graduate of my school. The population is getting bigger and bigger and I cannot serve them all.Nakakatuwa kasi, I became an instrument for other people to make a livelihood to have a decent living.

SCB: But the courses that you offer are not only on hairdressing...

RR: We have expanded the courses to include Hotel and Restaurant services, bartending, food serving, housekeeping, front desk operation kitchen management, beverage management. This is the need of the times. I always tell a lot of people, you know, mag-aaral ka ng HRM, it will take you four years but a hotel needs only one manager and countless of auxiliaries and these are the auxiliaries that we’re training in my school and it's like only three months.

SCB: Your foundation (Ricky Reyes Foundation) is focused on education and livelihood..

RR: Not education for children but education and livelihood, magkasama sila. Mag-aaral ‘yung tao para magkaroon ng hanapbuhay. I don’t believe in dole out. I don’t believe in giving to people. I only give to the people who need help, those who are already at the end of their roots like children with cancer. ‘Yun ang mga tinutulungan ko, nakakapag dole out ako.

I will give you the opportunity to learn something. I will give you the moral support that I can give to you ‘til you grow. But to give money, no, because you would not give importance to the money anymore. It has to be hard-earned for you to appreciate ‘yung money for you to keep. Kung ibibigay lang sa’yo, you’ll just squander it.

SCB: The people who have gone through the Isang Gunting Isang Suklay program actually put up their own parlors?

RR: Oo, 89,000 Filipinos, nationwide ang naturuan ng Isang Gunting, Isang Suklay. We started it in 1984 and up to now we’re still doing it. In Baseco, we taught over 250 people already. 89,000 poor Filipinos, ipalagay na nating half of it, 40,000 ang nagtrabaho at nagho-home service. 40,000 you have to equate it in a normal equation of a Filipino family -- anak, nanay tatay, kapatid – at least 40,000 x 6 is how many? That’s how much Filipinos are being fed by hairdressing.

SCB: What can you say about people who look down on hairstylists?

RR: Inabot ko ‘yun, that’s the time when ang tawag sa’min "parlorista" mga manglilinis ng kuko ng kuko sa paa. ‘Yan ang tawag ng mga fashion designer sa’min noon. In the 70s and 80s it’s the fashion designers’ height. Ayun inisnub-isnub kami, okay lang. Sabi nga nila, when you’re way up there you should never step on anybody’s toes kasi when you come down again, you’ll meet the same people.

I cannot remember that I have stepped on anybody’s toes. Hindi ako marunong niyan, sa’kin dapat lagi kang lalaban ng parehas. In my journey to become well-known, ang daming hairdresser ang chinaka-chaka ako, lahat sila ngayon chakaness na, kung hindi patay, tsugi na ang negosyo.

Mother knows best

SCB: You are a "mother" in the real sense of the word, with your children...

RR: I’m a doting, strict mother. But it’s the most beautiful experience, to take care of people I love mothering. Siguro I could’ve been a perfect mother kung girl lang ako. A few nights ago, I was having dinner with the kids, one of them said "Mama Icky is the best mama in the world!"

SCB: Are you a spoiler?

RR: No. Mothers are always the kontrabida. Lahat ng nanay kontrabida sa buhay ng mga anak pero laging mahal na mahal nila ang nanay nila. I always tell that to a lot of people. You never never stop scolding your children, never surrender. Pagka matigas na ang ulo ng mga anak niyo, kahit walanghiya na. I always remind them, laging continuous, wag kayng titigil. Kahit mura kayo ng mura araw-araw, never stop because one day they will come to realize, you’re just feeding their minds. And one day when they become mothers and father themselves, they will say, I sound like my mom.

SCB: What are the best lessons you’ve learned from your mother?

RR: I get all the lessons from my mother. All the things she did in her life are the best lessons in my life. I never did what she did because I know they’re all wrong. Lahat ng ginawa niya, hindi ko ginawa…

SCB: Like?

RR: Like, falling in love so much. Giving 150 percent of herself. Sa negosyo masyado siyang malambot…

Secret of his success

SCB: What is the secret of your success?

RR: My secret is, I love my work so much, I don’t consider it as a work. I enjoy what I do. I’m happy with what I do.

SCB: You do not have a business background. But where did you learn all these?

RR: Children who born in the 50s, 60s 70s and mid 80s are the luckiest children in this world. They were taught well to handle responsibilities, to be respectful to their parents.

Ang mga bata ngayon, sabihin ng nanay na walang lalabas ng bahay, when everybody is sleeping they all sneak out. Ang bata ngayon, nagta-trabaho na sila but they are still not responsible. Before kasi, tinuturuan ang bata ng responsibilidad. Ikaw ang taga-pamalengke, taga-linis ng bahay. Now children have nannies, the parents are not there. Mga bata ngayon, on their own.

In short, there was no need to have a business background, but you need to have certain values like responsibility.

SCB: How much of your success do you attribute to luck and how much is sheer hard work?

RR: You make your own luck. Ang swerte ng tao ginagawa ng tao. You tell yourself I will be luckier because I’m going to work hard. Work, work, work.

There only a few points to be successful.

Unang-una, lagi kang maniniwala sa sarili mo. Always believe in yourself but not to the extent na magiging mayabang ka na.

Second, mangangarap ka palagi ng magandang buhay, always dream of a better life. Kasi kapag naniniwala kang magaling ka, may pangarap ka, kailangan kang magtrabaho ng husto. Work, work, work, don’t play, work hard.

Third, after that, save what you’ve earned. People work hard but they don’t save so they end up with nothing.

Fourth, kapag mayroon ka na, that’s the time you share with others because ‘yung blessing ibinibigay yan eh, laging nakasahod ‘yung dalawang kamay mo. ‘Pag dumating sa’yo yan, kailangan ‘yung kaliwa iko-close mo at ibibigay mo yan sa sarili mo at ‘yung right, ibibigay mo naman sa iba. Para pagbagsak ulit ng blessing, nakabukas pa uli ‘yung kamay mo. Kasi kung itatago mo lahat yan, dadating ang maraming blessing wala ka nang makukuha.

SCB: Ang dami n’yong ginagawa, nakakapagpahinga pa po ba kayo?

RR: Oo naman. I’m very very strict on that. In a day, at least I have to take 15 to 20 minutes of power nap. By 7 p.m., I’m home to play with the kids, to see if my mom is still awake and to bring their pasalubong for the day. I’m one person who doesn’t go home empty-handed, laging may pasalubong.

SCB: If there’s something na gusto niyong baguhin sa buhay niyo, what would it be?

RR: Nothing. Even all the hardships, even all the pain. Kasi these are the things that make you a better person.

SCB: Pero siyempre nung bata ka…

RR: May resistance ka… pero later on you’ll learn in life…Siguro iba nga lang talaga ako kasi in my heart and in my mind, hindi ako marunong magalit, magtampo, mainggit. Siguro because I’m successful kasi I don’t have those negative aspects of my life. Binura ko talaga ‘yun. Ang dami mo nang dinaanang nega sa buhay mo bakit maglalagay ka pa ng nega diba. Too much is too much. Dapat you know how to cut it and stop the cycle…

SCB: Right now you have everything and you’re investing sa society. What else do you want in life?

RR: Nothing more. Ako, every time I pray at night, I pray for other people and to be given good health. Kasi I still like to do a lot of different things by helping people and you cannot do all those beautiful things if you’re sick. ‘Yun lang naman ang lagi kong hinihingi – good health.

SCB: What’s your dream for the country?

RR: We’re 90 million Filipinos, my dream na sana dumating ‘yung point na ang bawat Pilipino ay magiging responsible towards another Filipino, na ang bawat Pilipino ay tumulong sa kapwa Pilipino in so many ways, turuan mo to be on their own. Siguro walang mahirap na Pilipino, hindi kanya-kanya, tapos mura ka ng mura sa gobyerno but tanungin mo ang sarili mo, ano ba ginagawa mo? Ako siguro baka mas marami pa akong ginagawa kesa sa mga senador…

SCB: Have you been asked to run in the elections?

RR: Three times already but I declined. I know what I want – I just want to help. I don’t want to be tainted by political colors.

SCB: Do you consider yourself patriotic?

RR: I am but not to the point na kailangan ko pumarada sa kalye may dala-dalang bandera. I can do my own patriotism by loving my country, helping the Filipino people to stand on their own.

SCB: What do you advise to the young people we have now?

RR: They have to be industrious, they have to work hard. They have to focus, they have to really think of what they want in life.

SCB: With your skills, you didn’t think of going abroad?

RR: No. I love this country. I was a green card holder for seven years and I surrendered it. For me ang sarap sa Pilipinas, walang katumbas. Magpunta ka sa Europe, America, you make so much money but you’re still a second class citizen. Here, ang tao nga dito ang sarap ng buhay, sa America, sa umaga gigising ka ng umaga, ‘Gusto ko ng kape’ after five minutes sasabihan ka, bumangon ka magtimpla ka ng sarili mong kape. Here dito, ordinaryo emplyado lang pero they have maids, naka apartment, kumpleto sa gamit. I just go to abroad to enjoy.

SCB: Ano ‘yung shining moment mo?

RR: Becoming an idol of everyone, kahit saan ako maglakad, tatawagin akong idol, nakakatuwa.

SCB: May idol po kayo?

RR: I like to idolize leaders. I like leaders because I’m an Arian. I cry every time I see people or a leader get assassinated. Because for me it’s a waste of brain, waste of human life. I like Rosa Rosal, she does something for everyone and doesn’t expect anything in return. I idolize people who give themselves to other people.

SCB: May prominent personality be po kayo na gustong gupitan?

RR: Wala na, dumaan na sila lahat sa akin. (laughs)