I am a regular reader of your column and I know it really helps a lot of people, specially the advices that you two give. I just want to share with you this problem that I have. It is not that big unlike the others but still I would like to hear some advice from you.

I am 19 years old and I am a working scholar in our university. I haven’t had a boyfriend ever since, and I’m proud of that. But there is this guy, my fourth year high school classmate. When we were still in high school, I could sense that he had a crush on me. Remember, we have this "girl’s instinct". He is the first guy who showed me a different kind of caring.

But he was known as the "very bad boy’’ of our class. He always made my classmates cry. But with me, he was a gentleman, in a way that he didn’t want to see me crying or sad. He always teased me but in a very gentle way. He was the first guy who handed me a handkerchief when I cried three times. After our graduation, we lost communication.

After three years, during our class reunion, we saw each other and realized the feeling I had for him is still there. The day after our reunion, we communicated through text. He would ask me what my ideal guy is and if it was really possible that he could be that guy. Of course as a girl, I didn’t answer. He told me that when we turn 25 and if I don’t have a boyfriend by then, he wants me to be his official girlfriend. I remembered way back then, that I told him that I wanted to have my first boyfriend when I turned 25. I didn’t think he would remember.I found myself promising to myself that I’ll wait for him, and if he’s not serious with that, it is still ok because I still made my promise.

Now there is this guy that has the same attitude as him. He is always giving me signs that make me think.

I just want to hear your advice regarding my situation. I am really confused. I am just afraid that he is not serious on that. And afraid that because of that deal, I will miss the opportunity to know the guy that is really destined for me. What can you say? Is my decision right? -Champy-

If there’s one thing I can guarantee about love based on my multiple decades on this planet is that there are no guarantees. You can wait and wait and choose and choose and weigh your options until your head spins, but there is NO way that you can be absolutely sure that a guy loves you or is serious about you.

A lot of the time, the only way to find out if the water is cold is to get your feet wet. I understand the high regard with which you treat your no-boyfriend-since-birth status, although I don’t agree with it. For me, having no boyfriend since birth is neither good nor bad. It’s not something to be ashamed of, but personally, it’s nothing to be proud of either. It just is, no value judgment.

In fact, I actually feel like it might even be detrimental to your situation. You know the Tagalog saying, "Sa kapipili, nauwi sa bungi"? You run the danger of falling into this trap if you put too much pressure on finding the "perfect" guy for your first boyfriend. Don’t overthink your relationships. If it feels right, and you’ve exercised all manners of caution, just go for it and take it one day at a time. The higher you put someone on a pedestal, the harder they’ll fall. I just feel the tendency toward much ado about nothing. I’d stress more about choosing a husband.

But for boyfriends? That’s what the whole boyfriend-girlfriend stage is for, so you can find your way around relationships, to figure out what you like and don’t like, and to find out if the guy for now is the one you’d like to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t throw all caution to the wind, but don’t be too cautious either. As is the case with most things, moderation is the key.

Tracy Chapman said in one of her songs, "...a love declared for days to come is as good as none." I believe that 100%. You have no committment right now. You have no romantic obligations towards anyone and are free to pursue any relationship you may want with anyone. What good is someone who says when we are 25 and still single then I will love you? What about now? What happened to the here and now? Heaven forbid!

My advice? Get to know the man who is in front of you. Get to know the man who is offering you his love. Then decide if this is the one you want to be with. The one who loves you is the one who will be in your vicinity here and now. Anyone who will promise to love you later is really just a safety net. A plan you fall back on when thing s don't go as you hoped. And that is not really love at all. At least, in my opinion. So, if I were in your place, I would go for the one who is here now, offering you his love.

Dont get me wrong here. I don't mean jump into a relationship with whoever is in front of you. What I am telling you is, get to know who is there in front of you and decide if he is someone you can love and enter a relationship wth. So, dont worry about a post-dated love. That is not worth anything. If guy #1 is really serious about you he wouldn't wait for you to turn 25. What for, right? Act in the here and now. That is all you really have.