Shot on location at The Blue Leaf Events Pavilion (Photo by RUDY LIWANAG)

On the surface, showbiz may seem like all glitz and glamour. The fame, the adoring fans, the freebies, and fabulous income is enough to feed the current frenzy to join this and that talent search or reality show.

But with any type of work, there are challenges that come with this career package. The hours may be grueling. High-caliber acting can take an emotional and physical toll. The press hounds are always on the lookout for any juicy detail about a star’s private life. There is the competition to get plum roles. And the public scrutiny that gives the feeling of living in a fishbowl.

That is why, on the very first day that noted actor Gary Estrada met pretty newbie Bernadette Allyson on a movie set, he was not able pay her much attention. “Actually I just passed her. I was so busy! I knew her already, kasi nasa Lunch Date na siya noon. But I had more important things to do. The role was really hard, and we had a very exacting director (Joel Lamangan), so hindi ko talaga kayang mamansin at that time,” he recalls.

For her part, Bernadette says, there weren’t any sparks either. “He was the first actor that I ever had a movie scene with. Extra ako, bida na siya. It was for a Viva movie titled 'Ikaw Naman ang Iiyak,' and I played a friend of Sheryl Cruz. I wasn’t nervous about working with him, kasi hindi ko naman siya crush! I had a crush on someone else.”   

“But when I saw him in person, he did make an impression. “Iba pala yung itsura niya. Parang sa screen kasi ang tapang. I like him better in person. Gwapo pala siya!” she exclaims, which made Gary chuckle.

After that movie, they did another film titled 'Strict ang Parents Ko.' Gary was the leading man to Amanda Page, and Bernadette was her best friend. “There, we were able to get a chance to know each other. Nothing romantic pa rin, because I had a boyfriend at that time, and he was also in a relationship,” Bernadette supplies. “I was teasing her about the guy pa nga,” Gary remembers. 
Fast forward to two years. Gary guested at SOP, where Bernadette was a regular. “I remember meeting him in the hallway. Then he said something like ‘kamusta’. That was usual for us, because we were always on a ‘hi, hello’ basis whenever we bumped into each other. Then I was surprised by the next thing he said – ‘I’m gonna call you up!’ and he did call, at 9 a.m. the next day.” Bernadette says.

When asked what took him so long to make a move, Gary muses, “I found her attractive that time na. Nagmature na ako ng konti, maayos ayos na 'yung pananaw ko, I wasn’t expecting that to happen. I wasn’t going out with anybody, so I called her up.”

The couple dated for 10 months, then broke up and separated for a year. “Parang nagkasawaan lang,” Bernadette explains. But after one year, Gary made his presence felt through text messages, asking how she was.  “He realized that he cannot live without me!” Bernadette crowed.  “When we got back together, hindi na kami dumaan sa ligawan stage. Even when we were not formally together yet, Gary proposed. At that time, I said no. But a week later, he proposed again –with a ring. This time I said yes. That was in March. We got married in June.”

Breaking through the mold

Gary was well aware of the pressures of showbiz relationships. “When I was younger, parati na lang, ‘pag hindi kayo, gusto nila maging kayo. Then ‘pag kayo na, paghihiwalayin naman kayo.

That’s one thing I learned, so when we got married, we kept it away from the public eye, we tried to limit the appearances on TV, we tried to protect the family,” he explains. “My siblings and uncles … my dad … everybody in my family is into acting. When I was younger, a lot of attention was on me, so I tried to stay away from the spotlight. They say good or bad publicity is the same, pero kung maiiwasan, lalo na if you have a family already, and you want to keep it intact, you have to stay away from the attention as much as possible.”But that doesn’t mean that his wife has to put her career behind her. “If she wants to do a movie, she can,” he adds.

Bernadette says shying away from the spotlight was her choice. “I stopped because when I got pregnant, I got so big. I could not come out on TV.  Plus, I am really hands on with the three girls. I’m not so concerned about having to work as much anymore. But, when there are offers that come my way, and I like the offer, then I would say yes, especially now that the kids are bigger. I am looking forward to maybe just one regular show, one that would not keep me so busy.”  She credits her weight loss to dieting and a little help from Marie-France, which she endorses. “Feeling ko kasi kailangan na ng intervention!”

The dieting part was a challenge, because she says she is not particularly fond of vegetables. “That is one thing that Gary and I have in common. We love to eat, but meat ang kinakain namin. It is so funny that we both don’t like mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard. So when we order burgers, we order it plain!” For the kids’ sake, they make sure to put veggies on the table. 

“Mas marami kaming opposites,” she counts. “He is very sporty, while I am not. He’s a homebody, I like going out. He likes going to the farm, I like it better in the city.” But they say their parenting style ties them together.     

The balancing act

Gary says showbiz is something he would be hard-pressed to leave. “It’s in my blood, it is something that I grew up on.” But he does not discount the pressures that go with the job. “That is why I need a get-away place. When I accept a role, I immerse myself into the character. The hardest part for any good actor is to detach yourself from the character. Acting is fun. You get to play somebody else for a certain period of time. I like playing contrabida roles because they are so challenging. But then you may get so into the role that it is hard to detach.

Sometimes, you couldn’t talk to me for a week! I used to stay at the farm (in Quezon), but now, especially with the kids, I couldn’t do that. Mag-aaway na kami!” he laughs. “Besides, if I am portraying someone who is galit sa mundo and I get home, how can I hold my child who is so full of love? So now, dinadaan ko na lang sa arte.”    

The kids watch their father on TV, Bernadette shares, especially since Gary has a regular role on GMA’ s Rosalinda. Icee, their eldest, even went with her dad to the filming of 'Mulawin,' where he played a baddie. “There was only one time when she really got affected. She saw him hug another child on TV, and she got jealous. Umiyak pa siya.” 

“My schedule now is Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,” Gary supplies. There are times when I stay at the farm, to save time and energy. I try to fill up the days that I am gone. Hopefully I can fill up yung pagkukulang ko sa kanila. So, when I am here, we always bring them to fun ranch or to the park. When I was younger, I was a member of the national team for baseball.
Sporty talaga ako, so I bring them to the park to play and run.”

“Siya ‘yung outdoor activities. Ako naman ‘yung indoor activities. Baking, art, playing video games that let you practice putting on makeup…” Bernadette beams.

Gary says he can’t help but feel outnumbered by the females in his household (the couple has three girls: Icee, 7; Gabbi, 2 ½ ; and Gianna, 1 ½). I look at the toys that they play with in the house. Ang hirap pala maglaro ng Barbie! Pinipilit ko pero hindi ko talaga kaya. I will pick it up for awhile, but after a few minutes, I give up, sit on the sofa, and just watch them play. Hindi kaya ng powers ko talaga! Ang iingay pa nila sa car – nagtitilian sila sa likod! But they like sitting on my lap – ginagawa  akong Buddha!” He adds that he wants a boy (he has a son with a previous relationship), but Bernadette is saying no – for now.

If the girls want to go into showbiz, Gary says he will not allow them. And then he sighs. “but eventually susuwayin din ako ng mga 'yan.” Bernadette says their condition would probably be for the girls to finish college first. “I believe that whatever will make them happy will make them successful.”   

The girls have had their first taste of the limelight, as endorsers of Fuller Life’s Circus, a line of bath products for kids. “Bathtime is really bonding time for us. The four of us take a bath together, and it is so much fun. I shampoo their hair and they shampoo mine! When they see me going to the bathroom, they follow me na.”

For his part, Gary says he is stuck with the dirty jobs. “I could not imagine the things I do! I once had to suck out mucus from Icee’s nose, because she couldn’t breathe na. Then recently, I actually had to pull poop out of Gabbi’s bottom. She was crying so hard in the bathroom, and I had to go in there and pull it out!”  

Their success secret

“Ako, I love my wife, I love my family. Sila 'yung number one sa buhay ko, I would do anything for them. That is what keeps them together. People say, kung ano ang puno 'yun ang bunga. They are expecting me to be a bad boy. But one thing I know is that I love my family,” Gary professes.

Bernadette adds. “Be conscious of your priorities, be conscious of who you want to protect. When we got married there’s no turning back, 'pag nagpakasal ka, wala nang hiwalay-hiwalay. When you are arguing, you see things, when you get married, there are some things that you should not turn your back on. Kung may problema, pag -uusapan niyo.”