Hayden Kho

Controversial ex-doctor Hayden Kho, Jr. revealed that his Christmas wish is to obtain forgiveness from Katrina Halili.

“[Kaya lang] di ko kayang lumapit sa kanya with all the complications and given the situation...it’s not that easy. But I’m really sorry,” said he in an interview aired on “Rated K” last Dec. 6.

It is recalled that Kho and Halili figured in a sex video scandal that rocked the nation mid this year.

Kho said he will fight for the revalidation of his license, which was revoked in light of that issue.

“Tingin ko laban 'to eh. Pinaghirapan mo 'yan (referrring to his licence) kaya ipaglalaban mo 'yan.” 

Kho calls what befell him “unfair.”

“Tingin ko hindi [makatarungan]. I’m really hoping that they will just suspend me, because pinaghirapan [ko 'yong pinag-aralan ko]. Alam naman nila 'yon eh, doctor din kasi sila.

“What happened in my personal life has nothing to do with my practice of medicine.”

But for Professional Regulation Commission (PRC) chairman Judge Nicolas Lapeña, Kho's much-publicized sex scandal and purported drug addiction are enough cause for the Board to proclaim him guilty of “immorality [and] dishonorable and unethical conduct.”

“Inamin naman niya [na] he took [the drug] Ecstasy, eh. Bilang doktor, alam naman niya, dapat alam niya ang effect noon,” said Lapeña.

He pointed out that Kho may regain his license after two years.

“Maaaring after two years, 'pag gusto niyang ma-restore ang kanyang lisensya, puwede siyang mag-apply."

“‘Pag nakitang [meron siyang] high [moral and] exemplary ang kanyang conduct---na wala siyang ginawang paglabag dun sa naging desisyon ng Board---maaaring maging ground 'yon para ma-restore sa kanya ang kanyang lisensya,” said Lapeña.

Talking of “exemplary conduct,” Kho related he has begun moving on from his much-publicized mistakes by attending psychotherapy sessions with psychologist Eppy Gochangco.

However, he admitted that he sometimes succumbs to suicidal thoughts when he recalls the controversies.

“It’s always going to the suicide path. I did that before, and I don’t know what happened at pag-open ko ng mata ko, fluorescent lamp 'yong nakita ko. I felt so alone...so hopeless,” he revealed.

In December of 2008, Kho confessed to have tried committing suicide after Dr. Vicki Belo broke up with him because of his brief affair with sexy actress Katrina Halili, who also starred in one of his homemade videos.

In a separate interview, Belo confirmed that Hayden fell into depression after his license was cancelled. Likewise, the media hype engendered by the hullabaloo had Kho shying away from the spotlight he once coveted.

Kho said: “Sinadya ko talaga na umiwas muna sa TV. Para sa’kin di talaga ako para sa TV eh. I decided to stay away from the lenses.”

In addition, Kho said he was lured into show business because he deemed that “at one point in our lives, we have to try something that we haven’t tried before.”

To keep himself busy, the former model shared he is “working out again. I enrolled in Mandarin class. I enrolled in Culinary Class. I enrolled in M.B.A.”

He has also dabbled in business by putting up his own chill spot “The Lounge” on Tomas Morato with co-owners Dr. Red Lacanilao and lawyer JP Ferrerin.

All these Kho calls steps at starting fresh.

“Alam naman natin na 'yong simula din naman ng bagong buhay ay tayo rin ang gumagawa.”