Illustration by ROD CAÑALITA

Q. Dearest Paolo and Suzi,

Help! My 3-year-old baby is always playing with his Gameboy. If he's not doing that, he’s at the computer, playing online games. I can’t get him to sit and read. How will I divert his interest to books? He should be learning his ABCs, colors and shapes by now because soon, he will start school.

Sincerely yours,

Arlyn Omega

Suzi says

Hello there Arlyn! I do believe more and more parents are going through the same dilemma. It’s so difficult to compete with the TV and computer!  But I realize, in the end, we are the ones who must set the rules. It’s the implementation, that’s difficult and the key.

In our own home, I notice that I allow our kids to use my computer or watch a lot of TV when I am busy doing my endless chores at home. I am guilty of using the computer to be able to buy a bit of time so that I can complete my work at home. And sometimes it does take a long while before I’m done. This means more computer time for the kids and less time for possibly more worthwhile activities.

We’ve already established some rules in our home. No playing in the computer when we are not at home. They are also not allowed to play with computers unless they’re done with dinner and evening bath  Also, they should follow a schedule. Believe me even after going through the same rules many times, we still get the occasional tantrums. 

For your son, I do believe that he is old enough to understand certain rules. Establish a computer schedule, say 5:00 pm until it’s dark outside or maybe after lunch and before his nap. Praise him when he follows without arguing (This happens sometimes. A miracle indeed!)  The tough part is if he throws a tantrum. Be calm and try not to get too upset.  One thing that you can is to distract him with other things. We can’t just tell him to stop doing his favorite activity and then leave him to entertain himself.

Don’t worry too much about your son perfecting the alphabet before entering school.  However, it will help him be more confident in school if he does know some of the basics.  Colors, shapes and numbers are very important. Try to devise games (touch the color, counting marbles, using flashcards) to make learning fun. Hopefully, even though he might still prefer to play with a computer, he will at least consider learning with you a close runner up!

And as for the computer, it’s not all bad. There are many games that are suited for pre-schoolers that will help them learn about colors, shapes, the alphabet, etc. Nothing beats the real thing though, especially because in order for your child to learn, he will need you as his teacher. Good luck! 

Paolo says

Hi Arlyn. Having three kids, who are always competing with us and with each other for first dibs on the laptop, I definitely know what you’re talking about. Computers and gaming consoles can be a real treat for kids and if you don’t keep a close eye on them, they can literally spend hours playing games.

Playing games on a computer per se isn’t the issue, it’s setting clear guidelines on how much time they can spend playing and how strict they will be on enforcing it. I’ll admit that I have also been occasionally remiss in this department myself. Some experts suggest no more than 30 minutes of play for young children. Remember that computer games can quickly become addicting, as you’ve discovered.

I suggest you make a decision on just how much computer time you’re willing to allow your toddler to have. Then, patiently introduce your children to  other things. And take note, I said “patient” because I guarantee it won’t be easy to wean him from his computers. If you want him to be more interested in books, try and find books on subjects that he might be interested in. If he likes cars, dinosaurs or Disney cartoons, try and find books that might capture his imagination.

Set aside time to read to him. Make reading together a fun and interactive activity and it won’t be long before he’ll be looking forward to doing that more than his computers and gameboys. Good luck Mommy!