This is the office of Sonik Magazine, “Every Pinoy’s Favorite Music Mag.” There are music posters on the walls—mostly declaring new album releases or gigs by local rock bands—as well as samples of covers of the magazine. There’s a whiteboard with Things to Do, and a page plan for the current issue tacked on a billboard. This is a fairly relaxed office; there are no cubicles, just workstations equipped with Macs arranged along one side, and a large round table in the center, with issues of Sonik and remnants of recent meals piled on it. There is an acoustic guitar on a guitar stand to one side. DODI, ANISA and WACKS are seated around the table; TIN-TIN seated at workstation.

ANISA (Editorial Assistant): Sugarfree versus Eraserheads?
DODI (Head Writer): E-heads aren’t active any more.
ANISA:  Uh, yeah, we know that. It’s a theoretical match-up. It’s fantasy.
DODI: Easy. E-heads.
WACKS (Staff Writer): Eraserheads or Yano?
DODI: Eraserheads.
WACKS: Eraserheads versus...
DODI: The answer is always going to be Eraserheads.
WACKS: Eraserheads versus the Juan de la Cruz Band.
ANISA:  Ha! Tough one.
DODI: ...Juan de la Cruz.
WACKS: You’re just saying that because you just interviewed Pepe Smith’s daughter.
DODI: Screw you. Without the Juan de la Cruz Band, Pinoy rock as we know it wouldn’t exist. Of course, to be totally honest, Sanya Smith’s hotness is a factor.
ANISA: Even though it shouldn’t be.
DODI: Says you, Mrs. Ira Cruz.
TIN-TIN (Editor-in-Chief ): Don’t you all have stories you should be working on?
ANISA: Not me. I’m an editorial assistant. I assist.
WACKS: Sino Sikat interview. But it has to be transcribed first.
TIN-TIN: Who’s transcribing it?
WACKS: Um, me.
DODI: I’m just killing time until I have to go to Libis to watch a bunch of faggy bands perform for some faggy production night.
TIN-TIN: Dodi, when are you going to stop using “fag” as a pejorative term?
DODI:  When the bands I hate stop being so faggy.
ANISA: What time is it anyway?
DODI: It’s past 7. We would now officially be overtiming. You know, if our effing boss actually paid us for overtime.
WACKS: We should all just quit and put up our own music magazine.
TIN-TIN: Been there, done that.
WACKS: Oh yeah. What happened again?
TIN-TIN: Publication costs, distribution, marketing, promotion... Trying to run my own magazine almost killed me. So now I’v crawled back to the safety of a regular paycheck. No matter how itty bitty it is.
DODI: It’s always the same old story.
ANISA: A fight for love and glory?
WACKS: [Singing] A case of do or die?
DODI: Please shut the hell up. I mean, why do we work here? Because we love music. Our boss knows that. Which is why he pays us so little. We’d practically do this crap for free.
WACKS: I don’t think he’s thought it through to that extent.
DODI: Sa bagay. Kuripot lang talaga siya.
ANISA: My mom keeps asking me when I’m going to get a real job.
WACKS: As opposed to this imaginary one that somehow still requires you to be in Ortigas every day.
ANISA: You know, she’s like, there’s no future in that magazine, blah blah blah.
DODI: Does she literally say blah blah blahh?
ANISA: Are you literally an idiot?

To be continued... maybe. Send comments and questions to Luis at thekingofnothingtodo@yahoo.com.