I was born on the other side of the world. Actually in England in the old days. I was crazy about football, because I grew up just down the road from Old Trafford, the sacred home of Manchester United, the best football team in the world, nay, in the Universe. By football I mean real football — the football we British invented – sometimes called soccer. Sadly I was no good as a player, which put me into the role of a couch potato from an early age.

When I went to the USA I was invited by a friend to watch a football game. In my ignorance I went along with high expectations, but was bitterly disappointed. In the so — called “American FOOTball”, players don’t use their feet, they use their HANDS. What a stupid game and what a misleading name. Using your hands is a complete no-no in real football. One of the most famous moments in recent history was when Argentina’s Diego Maradonna kept the ball out of the net with his hand, thus robbing England of its deserved advance in the World Cup. He called it “the hand of God” because the referee didn’t see it and God who was clearly on the side of the Argentinians, turned a blind eye to the offence.  In American football, picking up, throwing and catching the ball seem to be the only skills required – apart from the ability to run into the opponent at high speed and, despite all the padding that he wears, break his bones. Really it is NOT FOOTBALL.

When I told an American friend this he replied “You don’t understand, it’s all the fault of you British. You invented the game of rugby football, and that’s the game we took on and improved”. Hmmph!  Well, I cannot deny that rugby football came from England. The story goes that one day the pupils at the elite Rugby School were playing real football when one of them picked up the ball and ran with it. Why he was allowed to invent a new game rather than being expelled for bad behaviour I will never understand. I would like to point out that major change the Americans made was the thick padding that all the players wear – in England real men play rugby football completely without padding, and often get killed or crippled as a result. Which I have to say is fine with me as I detest the game.

By the way, why on earth did the Philippines adopt basketball as its national game? The game is so unsuitable that even the tallest Filipino looks like a dwarf compared with the professionals in the USA. It would have been better to have stuck with the old sport of baseball. Or even better – to play real, football. This would give the Philippines a much better chance to win. Will we one day follow the example of Vietnam, Thailand and Korea and play the real game? I hope so for the sake of national pride, but I fear it will take a long time.

Isn’t it an odd world that we live in?