Louise in her Tea Room

The Disappearance of Dearest Daddy (and Dingo the dog)… During my father’s funeral last May, my head was ready to burst that I refused to cry for fear that I was experiencing symptoms of cerebral aneurysm. So, amidst the wailing of the entire family, I stood immobile, pinned against the wall, stoned and glued to the image of a magnificent metallic blue coffin, sliding into a dark cavern of an unfinished mausoleum.(Dad would roll over in his grave if he hears this. Anything to do with death was taboo.) The tears that failed to flow that day trickled the rest of the days, weeks and months that followed. I can’t shake off this deep sadness. In fact, I don’t want to shake it off, having this irrational thought that if I remain in this sad state, I could keep his memory forever. I wish I could have him back, even for just a day to tell him how much I loved him and to thank him for all the goodness he had done, and to hear him say that he is proud of me.

And then, our lovable dog of 13 years followed three months after. The most difficult part about these deaths is that I wished for them to go away, to relieve them of their physical misery and now I just want to kick myself for having wanted to let them go.

May you find strength in shaking off whatever burden you carry. And may sadness disappear from your heart.