I’m Not Superstitious

A long time ago, in a faraway country...
By HOWARD BELTON
March 27, 2010, 6:12pm

A long time ago on the other side of the world, the Aztecs used to play a sort of football. The difference was that the losing team members became human sacrifices to placate the gods. I’m sorry to say that the supporters of some modern British teams would like to do the same thing to the other team, but have to content themselves by attacking the opposing fans.

Today, we look down on many ancient superstitions. The idea that you can injure your enemy just by walking in his or her footsteps seems stupid to us, even though we would like to try it sometime. It’s called sympathetic magic, and in reality there’s still plenty of it around in the world. Look at the model arms, legs, and other body parts you find hanging up in shrines where people have prayed for relief from some injury or disease. And I am sure at least one of my readers today has made a model of one of his or her enemies and tried sticking pins in it – just in case there might be some truth in the superstition.

Many less violent superstitions linger on in the modern world. For example not walking under ladders, which just seems like common sense to me. Or making sure a black cat does not walk in front of you. Or is that good luck? - I can’t remember. Many people are afraid of walking on the cracks between paving stones, following in the footsteps of the celebrated English scholar Dr. Johnson, who also had to touch every lamp post he passed on his walks. He took such a long time to walk a short distance that he always stayed close to home.  One old belief in England is that when you have spilled salt on the table, you have to throw some of it over your shoulder. Actually I caught my wife Cristina doing that in a restaurant the other day, attracting some strange looks, especially from the neighbouring table which she had showered with salt. “Surely you don’t believe in that old superstition?” I asked. “You so-called logical men don’t understand,” she replied. Spilling salt is supposed to be seven years bad luck, so isn’t it  worth taking a moment just in case.” Well, there’s a certain logic in that, I suppose.

I am of course too rational to be superstitious, but I have to admit to one behaviour which some people might call superstitious. You know how Tiger Woods always wears a red shirt on the last  day of golf tournaments. Well, I have a pair of lucky underpants which I always wear on very important occasions. Sadly, I can’t wear them very often because they are getting old and won’t  last much longer, but they come out when really needed. What will I do when my underpants, and my luck, wear out?

No, I won’t show you my underpants.

Isn’t it an odd world that we live in?