Every Sunday, your whole family goes out together. After you’ve been bathed and brushed, mom makes you wear those stiff and itchy clothes, and admonishes you to behave. At a big hall, filled with pictures and statues, you are seated beside dad, who holds your hand and gives it a gentle little tug whenever you and your brother start talking or when your head looks all the way up to the ceiling so you can see all the nice pictures and the little lizards that are playing hide and seek. There is someone talking in front, but you can’t understand much of what he is saying. They are singing songs too, but they are not the nursery rhymes you know by heart. It is a good thing that your family is going out to eat later and maybe watch that movie you like. Then, you have to go here again next week.

Sounds familiar? That is probably how you felt going to church growing up. That is also probably how your child feels about it too. “For most of the kids, church is an obligation,” says Pastor Larry Uy, who is in charge of the KIDS Ministry at Victory Greenhills. “We must admit that there are churches that see kids as second-class citizens, meaning, that these churches do not take an extra effort to meet the needs of kids. I believe that it is imperative for parents and church leaders to make them realize the importance of having faith as they grow up and the importance of attending worship services corporately.”

No scare tactics

Some parents frighten their kids to submission so they will behave. They tell them things like “Father/Pastor will be angry if you are noisy”, or “Papa Jesus will be sad if you don’t behave”. According to Pastor Uy, this is counter-productive.

“Doing this would only justify the wrong perceptions of kids. And what about those pew-mates, who give your kids the evil eye when they start misbehaving? It doesn’t work. “That vicious look would only work for a few minutes, then the kid would be back to his or her old ways,” he explains.

Although solemnity is a must in church, one cannot avoid having unruly kids. Remember that they do not yet understand fully where they are even if you explain it to them. Admonishing them will just make them hate going to church. The trick is to make mass fun to them by giving Sunday services according to age group. Don’t force them. Rather, find something that they will love about it. Market it like how Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon do it. “The truth is, if it is not engaging for kids, they will not buy it,” says Pastor Uy.

If you want your kids to relate better to their Church, capture their interest and attention. There are studies on kids having short attention spans and that is true even with Sunday services. A 6-year-old kid, for instance, has an attention span that averages around six minutes.

You have to plan the service with that in mind. At their KIDS group, Uy says, they really keep it “kiddie.” “We make sure that it is 100 percent interactive. You bring it down to their level without watering down the message. The approach should vary but the principle of the gospel is the same. The bible story and lesson is still the same but it can be presented with a skit or a puppet show. From the arts and crafts, to the praise dance & worship, all is interactive.”

The answer, he says, lies in making it interesting for them, instead of compelling them to attend something that they cannot relate to. Uy, a dad to two kids, with one more on the way, suggests, “Why don’t you take some time to explain to a child the importance of the services at hand? You can start by explaining about God, Obedience & Blessings. Then, before going to church, make sure that you prep the kid. Training for obedience for kids at this early age is through repetition.”

Equipped for life

Of course, practicing your faith means more than just attending the services and giving “lip service.” You should live it every day and mind you, not just every Sunday by attending mass or fasting during holy week. Parents, Pastor Uy says, are the primary role models. “You have to walk the talk and live what you preach. You cannot expect your kids to grow in their faith if you, as parents are not growing. In fact, parents should serve as examples. We should not delegate this responsibility to the church.”

A strong family Faith is important, as it will provide kids with their “armor” for everyday living.

“Kids are often confronted by real-life tests especially in school. Their faith will be tested when they are being coerced by their peers, and put in situations where they will have to choose between doing the right thing or the more popular thing,” explains Uy.

He adds this Bible verse to support his statement. Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it. “It is important for kids to grow in their faith because their destiny relies on it. And it is our job as parents and church leaders to teach them God’s Word.”