Sec. Agra and Jean Likm-Agra with their kids and Jerry (photo by JUN DE LEON)

Contrary to the movie, no dogs were used for dating in this love story. For Acting Justice Secretary Alberto Agra and wife Jean Lim-Agra, the dogs only came late in the story, having adopted Jerry, their female Chow-chow, and the five puppies she had recently borne. Their real love story started after their first transaction, though fate may have been playing with the both of them, given that Agra’s sister has known Jean for quite some time already because of Jean’s clothing line.

“My sister had long wanted to introduce me to her, but I had a girlfriend then so we set it aside. When I no longer had a girlfriend, and I was setting up my office, I went to my sister Gela and asked her, ‘Do you know where we could buy reasonably-priced furniture?’ She got excited since Jean’s family has a furniture business, and she was managing it. ‘Puntahan mo si Jean,’ she said. So finally, because of that business, I met her,” Agra shares. “Kaya ang lokohan namin ngayon, ‘Pumapatol ka pala sa customer!’”

Sec. Agra describes it as a whirlwind relationship, starting from the time he borrowed her sister’s car on their first date because it was a more current model, just to impress Jean. After many conversations over the phone, during visits and on dates, they officially became a couple on February 22, 1989, and tied the knot on the same day of 1990. “So when she was walking down the aisle,” Agra describes, “I told her, ‘Happy anniversary!’ Medyo cheesy, ika nga.”

Agra fondly recalls his initial attraction to his wife, prompting him to get to know her better. “I’d tease her sometimes that since my sister built her up so much, I had high expectations. Kaya when I saw her, hindi pala siya Karta diyes! Karta nueve lang pala!” he shares, laughing. “But she was and still is, definitely, sweet, soft-spoken, and pretty. The attraction deepens with conversation.” They hit it off so well, in fact, that although they belong to different cultures—Agra, being pure Filipino, and Jean, coming from a Chinese family—he didn’t have a hard time winning her family over, including her three older brothers. “She was the youngest of four, and the only girl. I guess it wasn’t that difficult for me because of my personality. I’d like to think I’m amiable, respectful, and very polite,” he shares. “She teases me na kahit daw sa eldest brother niya, nagpo-po at opo ako.”

The dogs only entered the picture two years ago, when Jean was diagnosed with first-stage cancer. “I’ve always been a dog-lover,” Agra admits. “She wasn’t, but then we decided to get one right after her first chemotherapy.” Eventually, Jean grew fond of the dog Jerry, and she’s been part of the family since. Recently, their family grew larger since Jerry gave birth to five equally adorable Chow-chows, all of which were named after the positions Agra had filled in his law career: Secretary, Attorney, Justice, GCC (Government Corporate Counsel) and Sol. Gen (Solicitor General).

Love stories need not be exclusively concerned with couples. Sec. Agra and Mrs. Agra, for instance, consider their love story even more colorful because of the new additions Jerry gave their family. “Now, two years after (we got a dog), Jerry gave birth, so we’re now proud grandparents to five new Chow-chows,” Agra says, smiling. “Actually, ngayon, ang pinapag-usapan namin almost every day and every night would be the five puppies, Jerry their mom, and the kids.”
 
On courtship

He said: I believe every relationship is built on friendship. Relationships that are built on courtships don’t last very long. In that sense, courtship merely formalizes the relationship.

In the case of Jessica, the parents are the last to know. (laughs) Does she have suitors? Her mom probably knows. But definitely, my daughter will say that she has strict parents. In the case of my son, I don’t think he has a girlfriend, but he doesn’t call it that officially. He calls it MU. Niloko ko nga e, ‘yun na rin ‘yun. Who were you kidding.

Speaking for her: She felt like I was testing her then. Kasi I was into social development work. Minsan, ‘pag may rally, magyayaya siya magsimba. So we’d take the bus and go to the UP Chapel and hear mass there. She probably thought I was bourgeois. Now, teasing me, she’d tell our kids, “Itong daddy ninyo, pinahirapan ako. Pinasakay ako ng jeep, ng bus, ng tricycle, e pa’no kung may makakita sa’kin dun?”

On the proposal and the wedding

He said: We went to their fourth floor balcony, and like any other man, I was nervous. Definitely I wasn’t kneeling down, but I was holding her hand, and I asked her if she would marry me.

Actually, we were looking for a date for the wedding. We were eyeing it somewhat later, and we wanted to have several occasions, hindi February 22 kasi we’d celebrate both on that date that way. We wanted more occasions so we had more reasons to celebrate. They went to the temple, and since sabi sa kanila na February 22 was a good date, February 22 it is.

That day, it was traffic since it was the celebration of the EDSA Revolution, but we pushed through. We wanted to get married in the morning, have a lunch reception and then we’d go to our honeymoon after. That’s what happened. We got married at the Archbishop’s Palace in Mandaluyong, since I was working with the Archdiocese of Manila at that time, had a lunch reception and we flew to Hong Kong right after.

On parenting

He said: is the disciplinarian of the family, but is also the one who spoils the kids.

She said: accompanies the kids when they have athletic meets abroad and is closer to them.

On family time

He said: Before, my work allowed me to have more time with my wife and kids, and I had more time to do things with them. Now, because of my work, the one I had for the past three years, I have less time, so I push for quality time instead. We make it a point to watch a movie every Friday, hear mass together, go to the sports club on Saturday and Sunday and play with our five puppies and Jerry.

On squabbling and reconciling

For him: Like all couples, we’ve had our ups and downs, but never to the point of separating. We’ve never considered, will never consider that. What we do is we talk constantly. We’ve never had something like a big disagreement, but we always patch things up.

When I was young, I told myself na hindi ako matutulog hanggang hindi resolved ‘yung issue. As I grew older, I realized there are things that can change. There is virtue in waiting. There is virtue in not forcing the issue, so kung hindi pa, next day na lang mag-usap. Anyway, we’ll always be together.

For her: My wife brings up her tampo immediately, pero ‘pag tampong-tampo na siya, sumusulat siya. She writes well. I respond by talking. Mas magaling siya magsulat e, ako hindi.