MANILA, Philippines – In the kingdom of the blind the one-eyed is king. When President Aquino and the bishops sit down for a hush-hush powwow to discuss reproductive health, whose will be the seeing eye?

They are all bachelors, or presumed to be. But I can bet the President will dominate the exchange, if only because he’s had lots more opportunities to know the opposite sex from a more intimate point of view. He could always enjoin the prelates, “If you tell me your secrets I’ll tell you no lies.”

Will they talk about procreation as recreation, reproduction as productivity or proclivity? Very likely, they’ll leave it to the fathers to choose: 1) Have as many children as you want; 2) Have as many as you can afford; 3) Have as many as you need to help you till the soil, sell sampaguita, beg for alms.
Guys talking about reproduction without a woman present in the room is a chance for the aging/aged bachelors to admit that men are the problem. Men have no fertile or barren cycles until they reach the Viagra stage. They can’t take no for an answer, not even “I have a headache, honey.” They love ‘em and leave ‘em, anyway they had no hand in raising “your kids.” They don’t know what it’s like to be pregnant for nine months, to give birth after 28 hours of hard labor, to mother a baby for 49 years, some of whom grow up to become priests and presidents.